Truly Blessed

WOW!!!!!!

2010-02-22T21:26:00.002-06:00

Time is really flying by these days! I think it just hit me because Caden turned 6 on the 17th!!!! I cannot believe that my baby is ole enough that he has to use both hands to show it! I know that sounds silly but that makes me sad! He is growing up so much. He is doing amazing in school and his behavior ( there ) is awesome! At home well....... he is still a 6 year old boy! LOL But seriously he is getting deep! Sometimes the questions weather it be about something random or God are truly deep. I love him so much SO happy late birthday baby!
Also, Layton is now talking in sentences.... when he wanted to! He defiantly has some red in that hair (no offense to those whom have red hair or children that do). We are also 100+% in the 2 year old stage!!!!! This week I have not felt the best and he has taken FULL advantage of it! Every smelt ginger and dill weed together all over your kitchen floor????? Not the best air freshener ;)
WELL, I am officially going to start using my blog for the reason I started it, to share our life, the fun times, the silly times, the crazy times and our struggles! I am seeing a counsel weekly and I am going to do as many things as I can to get back to ME! There is only one thing that some may find offensive that the Lord has laid on my heart for several weeks and so I am getting it out of the way now
I was told that several people said that they had pain meds missing after I was the only one at their house. First, the bible says come to those whom you have problem with , then if that does not work seek wise counsel. Honestly, I do not need to steal any ones;s pain meds....I have plenty of my own that I am taking myself off of as much as I can! M.S. can be very pain full..... look it up! I seriously DO NOT KNOW WHO SAID IT... but I would love to visit with you about it! I am not mad but my feelings are hurt! So, I will end it like that on such a happy note LOL I want everyone to know that I love you all and miss you as well( those of you know who I am talking to) OOPS one last side not.... I have not nor will I ever talk bad about Living Truth Ministries..... it is a great lace full of loving people! God was just leading us somewhere else to grow us and to put us in some VERY specific groups!!!!! Well, past my bed time and I have rambled long enough! Next time you see my blog, I am hoping that it looks different! Love and blessing to you all!

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Just the way it is!

2010-02-03T17:37:00.003-06:00

Well, I am figuring out how untrue that statement is proving to be in my life! I guess and can see now that God has been preparing me for moments like this.... maybe seasons or chapters would be better words to describe what this is! I will warn any and all that are going to read this and continue to follow my blog! My way of sharing out lives with those that want to know, a way to journal yet share things with my family and friends at the same time! I have a group of ladies that are my rock here on this earth as far as being my prayer warriors! I have an amazing counselor that I am seeing to deal with old and new hurts. But most of all and more importantly...... I AM FINALLY GOING to be the woman God has been calling me to be, the wife my husband deserves and the emotionally healthy momma that my 2 out of this world smart, cutest and complete opposite boys deserve as well! While I will not be using names of people or organizations, please do not take this personally and IF you find that it is, do not read it!!!! That sounds harsh and ugly but it is the truth! I am not on the earth to keep the peace, I am here to serve my God and to bring others to him. I am here to forgive and to love! I Am also here to be the best me that I can and YES.... dang it that means I have to do some work..... Well, ladies and anyone else that read this I am going to leave this up for a day and will probably put some updated pics of our little family! There will be more soon (right Carrie??) Layton is 2 as of Jan the 25th and Caden will be 6 on Feb the 17th!!! Know that we love you all and pray many blessings on you and your families!

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WELL..........

2009-04-30T15:23:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I lied.... I was only back for the day! HAHAHA no really my computer is having some issues and I have been way busy! SO, I have not been on the computer much in the last 7 weeks! Between the computer not allowing me to log on to the Internet and helping get the new church up and going there has been VERY little down time for us! Living Truth Ministries is amazing if I do say so myself! We don't have a permanent building and are really just getting the children's floor ready at the bank downtown but our lives have been full of so many blessings in the last 7 weeks! It has been a lot of work but so rewarding. I have been able to get closer to some people that came from our old church and that thrills me. BUT all of the outreach we are doing and going to do has me on fire! I have always loved that kid of stuff and remember as a young child going to intercity Houston and feed and teaching bible lessons to the homeless and extremely poor families. I LOVED IT!!!! It is so amazing what God will do in you and through you if you allow Him to! I would have never guessed that the Blackwell family would be helping start a church. I feel very honored that God called us to do it! There is not much that is more rewarding than this! We are part of the core of a church that is going to reach many of the lost through blessing them in what ever way we can while teaching them the word of God! I am just so pumped about it that I could go on and on but I won't! It is hard to put into words this experience and all that comes with it! BUT let me try real quick.... rewarding, amazing, a HUGE blessing, my new found passion and much more! Please pray that we at LTM will continue to seek the will of the Lord and teach it to many others! Please pray for our to main outreach projects that we have going right now, one is "2am eternal", that is where we are handing out bottles of water at bars with labels that remind those that are there that Jesus loves them and has a place in Heaven for them and the other is " The Rope". The rope is a family based service project. We are going to be adopting a block or 3 every month and doing any front yard work they need from mowing the yard to painting the house or the house # on the curb! I think that it is going to be amazing for all the kiddos to get to be a part of this! What better to show them the way we are supposed to treat other than that! I am so excited for Caden.... he already loves to help others and work! So, add these to your prayer list, I will keep you all up on how they are going! God is calling LTM to concentrate on the lost right here in Amarillo. I will post the LTM website soon and pictures from LTM and of my family! We had our pics made Sunday and as soon as the girl gets me the disc I will post all the good ones! I hope that you all are having an amazing 2009, it is almost 1/2 over..... can you believe it?? I can't! I pray that God blesses you all and encourage all that live in Amarillo to visit us one Sunday, we would love to have you! AND we are no longer worshiping to an Ipod but have a REAL praise leader! He is not on staff yet but I know that we will be big enough to hire him full time soon! So, thanks David and Lindsey, you both do such amazing job! You are truly a blessing to LTM! Well, I better go find my kids and my nephew! I will blog more as soon as my computer allows me too!

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I really am back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-27T22:32:00.002-05:00

O' where do I begin?? Let me start by saying that I need everyone to know that this is my blog and a way to let friends and family know what is going on! I say that to say this..... this there has been a lot of changes in our lives over the last year ans I wan to use this to tell everyone about them! God has done mighty things and spojen very boldly to me. I am not going to contain my excitement. With that being said enjoy....
Wow, then end of 2008 and then beginning of 2009 were crazy times. I had some health issues and ended up in the hospital twice, the 2nd time the week AFTER I started coaching Caden's soccer team! Thank goodness my hubby is suck a good daddy! After saying he would NEVER coach... but he did! They both loved it and we are planning to both coach his out dooor soccer in a bout month! That seems really strange since we have like about4 inches of snow everywhere and about 10 foot snow drifts.It is very sttrange to see the snow taller than Lance. I am taking pictures in the morning! IT is also Layton's 1st "bi" snow experience! Can't wait!!!! Well I need to get Layton to sleep I made him stay up a little late so he would sleep in :)) Aren't I a good momma! Will blog soon! BLessings!

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Life always gettingi n the way...

2009-01-27T14:24:00.002-06:00

Well, this is going to be short because it makes me feel horrible to sit up but I wanted to give a quick and VERY brief udate. I am HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! and it is so nice! 11 days in the hospital seems like forever! More frustrating than that reaaly no answers. Yes, I do have Lupuse a clotting disorder and now as of a week ago I have been diganosed with M.S.! Ithas been a roller coaster of emotions and my Dr. that took " care" of me were horrible! Nursing staff..... AWESOME! Enough complaning, I keep reminding my self more that I can handle it..... God says He will not give us more that we can handle! AND THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!!!

On a more positive note Layton is no longer a "baby" he is one year old! I cannot believe it where hasd time gone! I am going to get Kristi to take some picture of him in his out fit and get then up soon! Welll,I am off to rest until Layton gets here....love and blessings ti you all keep the prayers going please!

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It is on!

2008-12-29T23:35:00.002-06:00

The count down that is! The count down to what you ask? Stayned tuned for further info!......... 3..............

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Not going private!

2008-11-19T16:19:00.002-06:00

Hey.... I am not going private! I have decided that I like being "public" about our lives LOL! That sounds so funny when I say it ! HAHAHHA Anyways, I cannot post much right now (screaming kiddos) but I will try to later.... a lot has happened in the Blackwell's lives over the last several weeks! We seem to be always on the run! I keep thinking it will slow down but have yet to see it happen! I STILL have not gotten to part I need to connect my camera to my computer but have been taking lots of pictures! It has really hit me how fast my boys are growing and changing! I CANNOT believe that Layton is almost a year old and Caden will be 5 in the next couple months! Where has the time gone?????? If you find it let me know I would love to have it back! Well I better go the boys are STILL screaming and I am supposed to be on here paying bills!I will post asap! Blessings to you all!

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From my heart.......

2008-11-04T19:19:00.001-06:00

I wanted to address some questions that I am being asked and do so that you all can see it….. It is not at all that I am ditching my friends! I have felt very alone and left out for a LONG time now! For weeks I have been watching everyone talk on face book and comment on each others blog and that is great...except that even when I have posted random things and made silly little comments on face book no one has responded. I felt like I was having to constantly be checking to see who had read my blog and who had been on face book! A couple nights ago, I was on here and my feelings were hurt. I keep trying by posting or commenting and still nothing. Only those that I work with or know out side PCF have had any contact with me. I know that it sound very petty and childish but even then my feelings are hurt! I decided last night that I would go private and then only the people that really wanted to know how or what we are doing would. I did not exclude anyone from being invited but I CAN NOT handle worrying about who I have offended and how or why! The people that I thought knew me best have asked me things and made comments that made me aware that they did not know me or what I am striving to be! My blog is not a place to confront me...I use it as a way to vent and share our daily lives with friends and family that do not see us. They do not need to read about the personal problems people have with me! They only friendships I have let go where in an effort to rid myself and our family of and temptation and strong holds! But as far as church goes we have not made a final decision about what we are going to do. We are actively seeking the Lords will and will end up where He wants and needs us. PCF has been my rock for almost 4 years now so you can only imagine how hard this is for me. I do not even know what I have done to most of y'all but I am praying that it will be revealed to me. I promise that I have not gone around talking about anything that happened. It is not just one person or one thing but a combination of several. I will not go around talking to everyone about what someone else has done or said to hurt us! So, when I try to explain what all has lead to us visiting other places it might seem minor. But, put it all together and that is what we are having to deal with I am VERY sorry if any of you feel that I have played a role in any of your own relationship that have changed. If I have please forgive me...I in NO WAY ever want to come between people! I am sorry that some of you are hurt and I ask that you please forgive me! I have REALLY tried to stay out of the gossip loop...maybe that is why nobody knows my side of what happened with alot of situations. I would love nothing more than to have all my friendships back and to make sure that my side was told....BUT I refuse to let Satan have victory in that area of my life! The only reason I took everybody off my face book was because I cannot get on here and wonder why nobody is talking to me and have my feelings hurt! It is taking a toll on my marriage and my every day life! I do not know how many time a day I check my blog, face book and email just to see if anyone even cares! It is hard to explain what all has gone on and all the little things that have made such a big impact on the way we feel with out going around gossiping. Again, it really has not just been one thing or one person so if I even tried to go into it I would have to go through it all and I do not feel right about telling people what others have done. But put it all together and IT Really HURTS! I sit here right now bawling once again! I cannot imagine not worshiping at PCF and not being around all the people that I love most but I also cannot be like this forever! My family was/is having to suffer because I cannot be the mom and wife I need to be with all these emotions consuming me daily! I really do love all of you and would love to know what I have done to you all! I am not the only one that is acting different..or pulling away! For months now I have felt that I was having to try really hard to even get people to talk to me at church and I cannot do that anymore! And as far as pulling away I am not sure why everyone feels that way..... I decided not to go to WOF last year, I am sitting out ONE of many bible study and I HAD to have a break from teaching and more time with my family! I am sorry that it seemed like I was pulling away and maybe I was a little! It was in part of out need. I need to be with my family more....Lance needs to work weekends....I needed a break from the kiddos. I felt as though I was/am doing what I need to, to be able to take care of my family! I am having some health issues and I do not have much extra energy or time! We are emotionally, physically and mentally worn out! I will be glad to email with or talk to anyone that would like to. I will need to when the kids are in bed and Lance is home. I cannot let Caden know anymore than I have to! At almost 5 ……he is very aware of what is going on and that Momma is upset! I want everyone to feel like all issues are resolved and if we do leave PCF, I would like to do so on good terms. I love all of you and your sweet families and ask that you all forgive me for ANYTHING I have said or done to hurt you! I NEVER wanted, tried or meant to be the root of any ones problems! I would NEVER want decention between any of my brothers and sisters in Christ! I love you all and again ask for forgiveness and grace! Please be praying for our family….. we need all the prayers we can get! I am serious…if there is something that you want to know or say PLEASE email me at l2c2blackwell@gmail.com! I will respond to any and all emails when I have time! I am not sure why but I am extremely busy lately ;) Blessings and prayers!!! (Sorry for any spelling errors…..for whatever reason spell check is NOT working. I am not very good at spelling with out it!)

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Going private???

2008-11-02T13:28:00.002-06:00

Well, I have been trying to decide if I should go private with my blog. My family really enjoys reading it and I enjoy posting on it. Here is the delima.... we are going through a time of change and I want to be able to blog for my friends and family but DO NOT want to hurt feelings. I was made aware of the fact that my family read it daily and love being able to keep up with us through it. They also like knowing how we are feeling and handling certain situations. That being said..... we are visiting different churches and I would love to be able to share with all of them how that is going. I DO NOT want anyone reading it to be offended...I will not be mentioning the name of churches or any "bad" things...BUT do want to be able to share our thoughts about it. Ya know....are likes dislikes and things that are just out of our normal. Lance has NEVER been a member anywhere but the church we are currently members of. It has been an amazing church home and has helped us grow in so many ways. We have lots of people that we love and have been through so much with us!!! If we do decide to make a permanent change in churches we are really going to miss them. We are not doing it because it is a bad place but we are really feeling like it is our time to let God use us some where else. It is not because of any one thing or person. We are TRULY trying to be obedient and be used where He wants us! It is very hard for us...we are comfortable and both hate change. I am really excited to see where we end up and what He is going to use us to do! He is an AMAZING God and we know that where ever we end up and what ever we are doing is going to be great for our family! I really hope that all of you that go to our home church understand. This will more than likely be my last public post....if you would like to read about our "adventure", send me and email or leave a comment on this post and I will send you an invite! I am not doing it to shut anyone out....but you know me...I like to share how I am feeling and why and do not need anyone reading more into what I say! I will wait until I get some pictures on here and leave them up for a few days...then go private! I know I could start another one and leave this one like it is BUT I don't need something else to keep up with(I spend enough time on the computer). I hope you all have an amazing Sunday afternoon...it is nap time for me...I mean Layton;) Blessings!!!

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Sugar high and bed time???

2008-10-31T23:12:00.002-05:00

I just love the night of Halloween!!! Caden is SO hiper and we didn't even let him eat but maybe 3 pieces of candy! I think just knowing he has all that he does gives him a sugar high! I am making him take a bath to wash all the white out of his hair and possibly calm him down! Layton was so cute...he loved holding his little trick or treat pail. He even enjoyed just making noise with the candy! It really was a fun night!! We talked the Browns into going tonight. We got a later start than we wanted to and only went to their families and to Lances moms. We made 2 stops before we met, up at my mom and his grandma. We probably only made 5 or 6 stops and but they got a TON of candy!!! Just great for me trying to lose weight...I have very bad self control!!!!! I have really been doing pretty good. I have lost about 40 pounds in the last 9 months. I still have more to go but I love seeing results! Anyways, sorry I had to brag:) Back to tonight, it really was fun but I am glad it is over, just loading and unloading the kids was enough to make anyone tired! We had 6 boys and were missing one. I am tired and I am getting up at 5:20 in the morning...hitting the sale at Kohl's...it opens at 6:00! Getting a little Christmas shopping out of the way. I hate waiting until the last minute! I better get the boy out of bath and go to bed...another weekend with out the hubby :(

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Happ Halloween...and a few things to ponder!

2008-10-31T15:52:00.002-05:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! This is not my favorite holiday but I do like to see all the kids! They are all so cute...I wish I were more creative! At Cadens school there were 2 Elvis's, a bride, a deck of cards, and my favorite so fare this year...Micheal Phelps...very cute! Ok, now for the "things to ponder"! I redid my home page and added some random this to make me smile! One of them "Things to ponder"..here are a few for you.....what is the best thing before sliced bread, why do we sterilize needles before we use them for lethal injection, there are many more nut I liked those! And for a random fact, an average women consumes more than 6 pounds of lipstick in here live!!! That grosses me out!

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A few things.....

2008-10-28T16:26:00.003-05:00

First I have a praise....Layton's tube was not clogged today! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!! They are red and yucky but not quit infected yet! We will be praying that they will not be any time soon! Dr. Morgan said that Dr. Medford was good at finding stuff like that and as bad as his ears were...she was not surprised! I am supposed to watch him and if he is not back to himself soon she wants to check them again! They are still red and she said that as bad as they are that could just go away or we may need another round of antibiotics...God will keep him healthy...I am claiming that in the name of Jesus! The other thing is totally unrelated! I am at the end of my rope....I am about as stressed as I think I have ever been! I know that some of you do have your feelings hurt by my post on Sunday....that was not at all me intention! I love the Church and what it has helped shape my family and marriage into....I just feel that we are being called somewhere else! AND maybe we are not and God will make it clear one way or the other! The last thing is PLEASE if you have something personal to talk to me about, ask me about or you just want to chew me out...email me! I check it daily and would be glad to respond BUT it is not every ones business! I have family and friends that are totally removed for any and all current situations in our daily lives! Good grief...my dad and his wife read it along with friends I grew up going to church with! I know that i have made a lot of mistakes in my life and in some of my friendships but I am really working on it! I am seriously more stressed than I have been in ummm let see....ever! God did not promise that life will be easy or fun all the time but I have chosen to give my entire life to Him! I love you all!!!

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Another "are you kidding me" moment brought to you by the Blackwells

2008-10-27T16:37:00.003-05:00

Only here in the Blackwell house do things like this happen! I took Layton in for his 9 month well check...all is good in the regular departments. He is 20 and 1/2 pounds and 27 inches long! He is doing great in the development areas...he is right where he should be and a little ahead in a lot of areas! So...she wanted to just take a quick look in his ears, throat and nose and listen to him...this is where it gets fun! She looked in one ear and said that his tube was in a little low but looked good and she looked in his right ear and had a not so pleasant look on her face! The tube, ya know the one they put in exactly one week ago, is clogged! Are you kidding me...there is like a 2% chance that they can clog and leave it to my kid to be in that 2%.So, we go back to the ENT tomorrow and let her look at it BUT the only way too fix it if it truly clogged....is to replace it! Yes, I do mean that we would have another night of no nursing and yes, they will have to put him back to sleep and pretty much redo the surgery!!!!!!!!!!! I am so frustrated and at my wits end. I am ready for things to settle down around here! Well, dinner is cooking and the boys are screaming so I better go...I will let you all know what is going to go on with the ear situation. Blessings!

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Stress....maybe it is a good thing?

2008-10-26T15:37:00.002-05:00

Don't you just love being stressed? Do you find it funny how you handle stress? I mean like today, I am stressed and have so much going through my head that I can't sleep ...so I am cleaning! I am tired of all the dust and stuff! I have been cleaning or grocery shopping all day! I do not always handle stress this way though (although my house is really getting clean so it could be a good thing!), sometimes I want to sleep or wish that I would clean but don't do it! Not today though! I have done the good old Comet with bleach (little boys are nasty!!!) cleaning in the bath room, I have vacuumed out the couch(again little boys are nasty) I vacuumed the entire house and now I think I am going to do the floors and dust the boys rooms! I am going to use today to totally regroup and pray! I have prayed while I grocery shopped, while I was scrubbing the tub, nursing Layton and the list goes on! Maybe this is exactly what I needed...a day to pray and to listen! Everyone in my house is sleeping and I am going to take advantage of the quiet!!! I hope you all have a very blessed Sunday afternoon!

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A hard place to be!

2008-10-26T10:27:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I sit here in a hard place! Lance does not want to go to church for a couple reasons and I do not know what I should do! I could go with out him and risk that becoming the norm again or I could allow him this day to make some decisions which one????? I do not like missing church...I have gotten really dependant on the praise and worship.....I am going to really be needing some by the end of ANOTHER WEEK!!! Lance is watching the Church at Quail Creek on the TV and I am sitting here ready but feeling very torn! I could use this time to go to Wal-Mart and have the rest of the day for my family!! This is Lances first day at home in over 2 weeks...but it feels really weird not going to church! I miss what our church was a couple of years ago! I miss feeling like I want to be up there every stinking day and most of all I miss my husband being fired up about God and church! Our church is Lances first home church home and so we have some big decisions to make! I DO NOT WANT AND WILL NOT be married to someone that will not worship and be involved in a church with me and our kiddos! No, that is not what Lance is saying...our marriage is not in danger BUT I have kept quiet about our struggles lately and Satan is getting a little victory this week! We love our church home and many of the people there have been our rock over the last almost 4 years but are we being called some where else? That scares me!!!!! I love that we know everyone at our church and we are so comfortable....but we are feeling like maybe we are being called to worship somewhere else! We have been praying on this for ummm lets see....MONTHS!!! We have not gotten a clear answer either way...so we are TRYING TO be patient but is wearing on me for sure!!!!!!!!!!!! If you go to my church PLEASE do not take this personally....there have been a lot of little(or not so little) things that have gone on over the past 6 months! We have been and are praying diligently over this! Today is already one of those days when I just want clarity!!! Please be praying for us...we have kept it to our selves and a few others so we did not hurt feeling or make people mad BUT at this point, I am very worried about my husband and his walk! He has only been a Christian for almost 4 years and I ask that you pray a ton for him! I know and claim that either way the God will be glorified and we will be doing his will! I love you all and REALLY hope that no feelings are hurt but at this point I felt as though I needed to share a little of what is going on so that you all can be praying for our family!!

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Long week!!!!

2008-10-24T13:08:00.002-05:00

O' my goodness is it really Friday?? This has been a long sleepless week! Layton is finally fever free and is starting to act like himself again! He has a little more attitude but is already trying to say new words and has better balance! He is such a cutie....can you believe is he 9 months old today?? I can't, it makes me REALLY sad! Where has time gone? This week I know where it has gone....to not much sleep and a lot of pacing the floor! Layton has been fussy all week and is finally starting to sleep more soundly! Well, as for the pictures....I have still not gone to by the attachment we need for the camera BUT I am going to scan there school picture when I get home! We are out the lady, Michelle, that has been teaching with me while Shannon was out having a baby or something! LOL I love you Shannon and am glad that you are coming back! Michelle has been great! Caden is out riding around their land on the four wheeler while Layton naps! Well, they are back so I am going to go but I hope to have some computer time and will go more into detail about Layton's surgery! Blessings!~

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Quick update on Layton

2008-10-20T09:48:00.003-05:00

We are home! The surgery went great! Dr. Morgan said that it was REALLY nasty in there but she got it all cleaned out! We had a horrible night and I am going to take a nap....a very long one I hope! I will give more details later...Thanks to all of you that came up there and or called and were praying!

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The day before....

2008-10-19T15:30:00.002-05:00

Yes, it is the day before Layton gets his tubes and hopefully stays well for a while! I have a ton to do today.....I know you are wondering why I am doing on the Internet then? Well, I am doing laundry and waiting for my mom to wake up so we can go to Wal-mart! She said she wanted to go but had to rest first so I am waiting! I am getting a little nervous! I know that he will only be asleep for about 15 minutes but I hate the thought of him being put to sleep at all! I am also really getting nervous about the whole NPO thing! How am I going to convince a hungry baby that he does not need to eat? So please pray that all goes well and we get some rest tonight! I still have a stupid headache and it is driving me insane!!!! Oops, the dryer timer just beeped.....I am off to switch out the clothes and try to wake my mom up to go to the store! I am sure that I will be blogging more later...what else are you supposed to do when you are nervous about something????

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Saturday morning....afternoon!

2008-10-18T11:12:00.002-05:00

Good Saturday morning everyone!!! It is actually not morning anymore but I am just now getting time to get on the computer. I am my sisters house keeping her kiddos while she is at a MS conference. So, I will be getting on randomly today. Her oldest daughter loves Layton and getting to tote him around...more power to you Jaycie! It is actually a nice break even though Caden and Brady will get tired of each other before her husband gets off work! All of that is to say that I am not at home getting my house cleaned and my laundry caught up. I am really going to have to work on that tonight and tomorrow. I know that Layton will do fine and getting tubes is not a major deal but I really want to have a nice and clean house! I HATE my house being dirty but it seems to stay that way right now...we really need more space! Well, the kids are screaming that they are thirsty...what do I look like? A babysitter????LOL Blog more later!

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Dr. appointment updates

2008-10-16T23:09:00.002-05:00

Well, I cannot believe this week has gone by so fast! I did spend the weekend at home and relaxing which I hardly ever do!! So, for the Dr. news....I went to my Dr. on Wednesday to have my levels checked and it was a 2.8!! That is good but it was a 2.2 on Friday so I have to go back next week to make sure it is not still climbing! I feel like I sound like a broken record but please pray that they stay between a 2&3! We really need for me to have to go once a month...without insurance this weekly visit business is killing us financially! But, there is a light at the end of this tunnel...Lance will be attending a prep class this weekend and we are hoping he will be able to test soon! Back to Dr's, Layton had his pre-op appointment today and we are good for Monday morning! He actually has another ear infection and a cough so we are praying that he is complete well by Monday! If you are wondering what I am talking about...Layton is getting tubes on Monday! I am really relieved....this momma needs sleep and my happy little man back! We have to be at the Surgery center at 7:00am and his surgery will be at 8:00am. He is the first one and that is a good thing....he cannot nurse after midnight and will have to wait till after!! Please pray that he will sleep good and it won't be so bad! As his momma and his food source, I am kinda nervous about that part! I am really ok with the actual procedure Ijust worry about Sunday night!! Ok blogger friends, I will leave you with that! I am tired and I need to get dome extra sleep stored up! Keep us in your prayers and I will update soon!

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I'm Back.......

2008-10-14T18:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I am back!!!! I know that you were all so sad that i was taking a break! I hadn't realized how much time I was spending on the computer. I am going to be spending less time on stuff like Twitter and Face book...I am only a little addicted ;) But I am going to be better about blogging and posting pictures! I know you all may not believe it but I am! I have been saying that I would post pictures of the boys and I am going to do so soon! I have been busy and more importantly not felt good! I will explain in a post that I am going to write later. Layton is screaming and Lance and Caden went to pick up dinner...it is Lances night to cook....wonder what he is picking up!!! I will try and get a better more interesting post up after everyone is in bed tonight!

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A little break!

2008-10-09T20:29:00.002-05:00

I have had an insane couple of weeks and I am really going to take a break. I am going to stay off the computer until after Sunday! I am going to spend some time with the family and I am going to rest! I will explain later.....I am missing CSI:0 No I really will fill you all in on the Dr. appointment and the ones that will not be happening later! I have a major headache and I am going to cuddle my baby and relax! I hope you all have a great weekend! Blessings!

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A few pictures!

2008-10-06T21:35:00.003-05:00

I don't have much to say tonight. I am really tired and my brain hurts! I have so much going on that I feel like I am running on empty! So , I thought I would post these two pictures. I still have not gotten the disc from Kristi! I promise to do that soon. They are also getting pictures taken at school tomorrow! More to come soon. Goodnight and blessings to you all! . Ok so there is only one picture! I guess I didn't get the one of Layton! Well, he is still cute and looks just like his momma!! ;)

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Dr. appointment update

2008-10-03T20:03:00.002-05:00

Yet another frustrating day at the Dr!!! If you remember...I was way too thin on the actual number is was 8! So I go today and get checked and it was 1.2 yes that is too thick!!! The range I need to be in is between 2 and a 3. Is it really that hard! I am so tired of going and and it being out of range! I have only had it be where it is supposed to be ONE time. So for the last 8 months I have either been too thick or too thin! Please pray that I will level out and they will be able to stop changing my dose of blood thinner! I go back on Wednesday the 8th and hopefully it will be a good appointment. Even if I am at a good level I will have to still go back in 2 weeks for them to make sure I am staying there! BUT if it stays in the therapeutic range two times on a row I am only going to have to go monthly!!! Not only is it expensive and we still do not have health insurance but also because I have to find someone to keep the boys and all that! Lance is going to be taking him apprentice test in about 8 weeks and we will be changing to a company with more affordable and better insurance! Ok, I am done playing poor me!!1 I am off to watch movies with the boys! We are watching Speed Racer, Leather heads and Baby's Momma! We will have to wait to watch Baby Momma until Caden is in bed but it looked funny! I hope you all have a great weekend! Blessings!!!

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Issues and a chance!!

2008-10-02T18:54:00.002-05:00

Ok, so if you read my post from a few days ago, you know about Caden and his issues! If you did not read it go back and do so. He is getting so big and talks like a big boy....sometimes like too big of a boy! I really thought we had more time to prepare for the attitude BUT obviously it has already begun! So after he openly admitted that he has issues, it has been one thing after the other. Most was not so funny but last night I about died! A little background...Lance is always telling Caden he will do whatever he is asking him to do :when I get a chance" or "I haven't gotten the chance". So, last night Lance told Caden to go change clothes, brush his teeth and go potty! Lance took the trash out and came back and asked Caden why he hadn't gotten those things done....Caden answered "I haven't had the chance".Lance said do it now and Caden responded with I haven't had the chance! After a few more times Lance threatened to get the paddle and Caden stood up and screamed "O' I found the chance"! Where does he come up with this stuff???? Lance and I are so quiet and reserved and NEVER gave our parents any trouble! I love mt kid but I do have to say that one way or the other he is going to have to learn to talk to adults with a little more respect! Well, that is all I have for now besides a screaming baby :) the joys of motherhood! I have a Dr. appointment in the morning, I will fill you in on the details later but my blood was way too thin so they gave me vitamin K to thicken it and took me off the blood thinner until tomorrow! I was and 8 and supposed to be between 2 and 3!

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Roller coaster of emotions

2008-10-01T00:41:00.002-05:00

Today, has been one of those day! You know the kind...the kind that you would not want to repeat! I had an okay day at work and the boys were both pretty good. I am having some allergy issues and am not feeling my best,so that played a part in it. BUT, tonight I experienced the most emotions that I have in a while! God is fixing to do something big in my life and the lives of my three boy! ( that is including Lance). It is something that I am not used to experiencing. In the matter of 3 hours, I went from completely upset and confused to experiencing the "peace that passed understanding". I can totally see that God has been preparing our family for this....especially me. It is amazing what seeking the advice of true, christian friends can do for you! I was about to lose my mind over something that can and is going to be the biggest blessing when it is all said and done. No, I am NOT pregnant!! I love when I can totally see God working in my life and in the lives of others. God, knew exactly who I needed to talk to and when. They are my two closest friends but were used in two completely different ways! So, thank- yo girls for being my shoulder to cry/fall apart on and a voice of reason. I am sorry that I kept you both up passed you bed time! Amanda, I know you have to work tomorrow and you plate is already SO full! I will try to not keep you up so late the next time I am hysterical! Rebbeca, thank-you for reminding me of all of the promises God makes to obedient and faithful children! I love that you are actively seeking God's will and helping me to remember to do the same! So, everyone out there in Bloggerville next time you are thinking a stay in the Pavilion ( a place for the crazies)is what yo need remember that God hears your prayers and REALLY DOES KNOW what we need when we need it! Praise, you God for giving me peace and calmness that is only from you! What an amazing god we have! So, I am ending this post with a prayer request, ok maybe two;) First, please prat that God will give us clear direction!!! And last but not least...the good old blood results that we have been praying fo r over the last 8 months! I really think my blood is too thin but who knows! I go to the Dr. at 9:00 in the morning and I pray that they will at lest know what needs to be done to get them to stay in the good range! I am sorry if this post made no sense...I will be more specific when I /we have clearer direction and have had some time to pray over it! So, please keep us in your prayers over the next several months...again, I am NOT pregnant!!! Well, once again it is past my bed time and I am going to wish I had gone to sleep earlier come morning so.....good night!

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Gotta love then boys!!!!

2008-09-29T20:25:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I was going to post about the amazing praise and worship that I experienced this weekend! Both Friday and Sunday, I was blessed to spend some AWESOME time just praising my Lord and Savior! Friday was a first for me, it was one of the most touching moments on my Walk and loved being on the other side. I was on the Walk to Emmaus 203, in May and this was the first Walk since then! That is all I am going to say because dome of you reading this haven't been blessed with opportunity to attend one! I love when you can feel the Holy Sprit so strong that you are covered in goose bumps and forget that anyone else is around! We also had an amazing praise and worship time at church on Sunday! See, I was not going to get into all that because I wanted to make this short and sweet! I am going to wash and dry my hair tonight to see how much time it will save me in the morning!

So....the real reason for this pot was to share some of the things I love about little boys and a conversation Caden and I had today! First let me tell you how much I love cleaning little boys bathrooms...um no, not really they are NASTY!!! Caden is only 4 and already smells like a dirty boy...Lord help in about 10 years:( I also love the fact that my little angel is so calm and NEVER gets into or takes apart anything! Caden would never go hide and cut his fingernails too short, he would never find one of Daddy's tools and set off to destroy something..anything! And last but not least Caden would NEVER lie! I know, I know it is all part of development BUT it is wearing me out! He has been trying to lie about a bunch of little stuff but I think he has figured out the soap doesn't taste good no matter how many times you have had it in your mouth! It is not an acquired taste!!! And now, a little comic relief thanks to Caden! (He was putting Halloween clings on the glass window, we do for every little holiday!)
Me: Caden put that one back on and leave it alone.
Caden: I am trying, it won't stay...see
Me: Caden look you dropped your pencil
Caden: ok I will get it in one minute
Me: No,get it now before your brother does and leave that those window cling alone
Caden: I will in a minute
Me: STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GET IT NOW (a little louder than normal)
Caden: But MOM, Iam having issues!!!!!
Ok, so maybe he has heard some lady who might or might not be saying that WAY too much! Poor child he only thinks he is having issues now, wait till you get a little older son! I love him so much and wish I were better at writing down more of the off the wall and funny things he says! He is a very funny and strong willed child so half of the funny things he comes up with are not near as funny when they happen as they are later!! Caden, Momma loves you and thanks God for your personality, EVEN on the days when I want to send you to boarding school....not really!

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A funny picture of Layton

2008-09-25T18:37:00.003-05:00

I promise there are more to come! I have no idea where he gets that big mouth!

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Am I really getting old???

2008-09-25T18:08:00.004-05:00

Over the past few weeks I have become aware of the fact that I am getting OLD!! I know I am only 25 but I feel like I am really getting old! First of all, I am actually intersted in politics! I NEVER thought I would care. I am really not that kind of person! Leave it to the "old people"! See, my grandfather was WAY into politics and would be very proud of me! He was a big Republican and wanted nothing more than for me to care and to be a "registered voter"...and I am. A good friend of mine, that I just got back in touch with this week always said "He sounded like what she imagined God to sound like"! Wow, I wish He was still here! The second reason I feel old is Erin...the friend that I just got back in touch with! Seeing her kiddos andd hearing about her sweet family for some reason makes me feel old! It is so weird to see the people that I grew up with and haven't seen in a while! The last time I saw Erin was 5 years ago at a family reunion! Yes, that is right....she married one of distant cousins. It is so weird...Her dad took me in and bought me school cloths and loved me like one of his own girls! Hey Erin, do you remember are matching PePe jeans shirts?? I do and I probably still have it some where!! I am so glad that we are back in touch and the you too are a blogger! i have been slacking BUT am going to try to put more time into blogging! I have some picture of my boys that Kristi took but I am going to have to wait to post them until tomorrow! O' and the other thing that is making me feel old besides the need for more sleep , the sore body parts from the stairs at school, the fact that I am considered "one of the SEASONED teachers" (Thanks Heather) is the fact that I have a kid that is closer to 5 than he is 4!!! This time next year I will have a child in elementary!! See, I am getting old!! Maybe not so much in age but in life situation!;) One more thing...I saw the best sign in the world today..........It said NOBAMA!!!! Go Mccain and Palin! I am not wanting to start a political debate or make anyone made BUT it is in my blood! Dandad, I hope I am making you proud!!!

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What a day!

2008-09-24T22:33:00.001-05:00

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More fun, food and craziness

2008-09-19T11:16:00.003-05:00

Well, like I said in my previous post the fair is CRAZY...or maybe it is just me! We did it again....we braved the fair. This time I was stuck with the boys all by myself. Lance worked in "the grill" with Quientin and we girls were stuck with ALL the boys. I really cannot complain though the kiddos were pretty good and we got in and ate for free. You should all be proud of me, I did not eat as much junk tonight! I avoided all funnel cake stands and I did not but anything! I was really tempted to but some more of the topless flops BUT I have not worn them out of the house and I have a feeling that they are going to drive me nuts if they get all nasty! So, I decided to hold off BUT I did get a card with the phone number and way to order more! I figure if I like them I will order some next summer.....then I will be able to go topless even more...lol! Well, I am going to attempt to go to bed! I am so tired and yet I am still sitting here and blogging, I think I might be crazy! O' by the way I am really not as much of a dear devil I used to be! I rode a rid tonight that holds you upside down and I literally prayed the whole time! All I could think was, that all that was keeping me from falling only God knows many feet head first on the ground was a airplane seat belt! I just prayed that I would live and be able to take care of my boys. I know they are fairly safe but I really was worried about falling out! You know that 1 in a million chance that it would malfunction and that I was THE 1. So, if we brave the fair next year I will NOT be riding anything that holds you upside down. I learned my lesson!! Well goodnight to you all! It is now 3:00am. I hope you all have a great day. One question, is anybody reading my blog anymore? Not that it really matters...I use this as a way to vent/journal, what ever you want to call it! Love and blessings! be patience picture will be coming soon !!!:)

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Fun, food and topless flops

2008-09-19T11:16:00.002-05:00

Attention all fair goers...it is CRAZY! I cannot believe I used to love to go and ride those rides. Ok, maybe I can because there is one that if it did not cost $10 to ride I probably would have gotten on! But , after the whole skating party and the soreness and bruises that came from it, I think that it is time I realize that I am no longer a kid! How sad !!! Anyways, the fair was great, expensive, but great. Caden had a blast and and Lance gained 20 lbs. Caden is still the cautious one. He likes all the on the ground rides. He rode the motorcycles, boats, and a few more but the funniest was when hr rode the "big slide". Lace walked him up there and he was about to change his mind until Lance gave him a little push and he had no choice. I wish I could have gotten a picture of the look on his face. He held his breathe and looked like he was going to burst into tears, but of course when he got off he said " I was only a little scared". I asked him if he wanted to go again and he quickly said no!! So we went and all of the 100% fat free fair food ;). I swear Lance was trying to see how much he could eat without getting sick. He ate all night long. I think he had 2 fried cheese on a stick, 2 corn dogs an order of "cowboy taters" fried ice cream and a fried smore. All of that and he was still saying he was hungry! My mom was shocked by the amount of food he ate. I on the other hand DID NOT eat anything fried or that was not healthy! I might have eaten some "cowboy taters " and maybe a few bites of Cadens corn dog and maybe even a funnel cake, but this post is not about me !!:)~ We did spend a little time looking at the exhibits and that was fun. I love seeing all the stuff people come up with to make and actually sell! One lady even talked my mom into buying topless flops. All you do is stick them to the bottom of your feet and go. We decided that we would get the buy one get one so I could get some too! I have worn them around the house but have not been brave enough to go out in them. They REALLY do stick to you feet and they don't leave your feet sticky. If they do star to get unsticky you wash them with soap and water and let them dry and the sticky reactivates. They are kinda freaky...I do not like when I cannot figure out how something works!! I will post a bunch of pictures at some point before long. We got a new camera and when I have the time I will hook it up to the computer and post all the pictures I have been saying I was going to post forever! Well, my youngest has crawled in to my room and is under my chair screaming, so I better get off and get him to sleep! Be watching...you never know when I am going to show up topless!

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Just for the record.....

2008-09-17T15:32:00.002-05:00

Ok so I was all excited that I was going to be early since I got ready early....well somehow I ended up still running late! Are you kidding me? Since baby #2 I am never on time and that really bugs me. I like to be early, it even bothers me when others are late. This must be another lesson that God is teaching me...patience's for those who are late. I have spent my entire marriage fussing at Lance for making us late. For a man that has no hair and showers at night, he is ALWAYS late. Well, enough of all that...it REALY frustrates me that I seem to always be running late and it does not matter how early I get up I am going to be late!!!! But as for the Dr. appointment more frustrating news, my blood is not thin enough! I have been on the same dose for 2 and 1/2 months and we get a different number every time. Last time it was a little too thin and this time a little too thick!!! What in the world. I am so ready to be considered therapeutic and only have to go monthly! If I continue to go back and forth they are going to run some more blood work. It is a great burden on us financially, so pray that it will not be necessary and that I will soon be able to get so of the medical bill payed off. As of right now, my monthly payments are not even paying for one of my visits and I am going at least every other week! Well, I am about to wake Caden up and head home (we are at my sisters) to get ready for the wonderful fair. I will post about all the fun and GOOD food we eat!!! I am sure it is all "fat free" right???? ;)

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Good morning

2008-09-17T08:27:00.002-05:00

Good morning everyone in bloggerville! I am so excited to be awake and ready to go to the Dr. today...LOL! I am sure if you know me you have figured out I am NOT a morning person! I love to sleep or at least lay around and get ready for the day in my own sweet time! I love Wednesday, Caden usually sleeps in because he is tired from school the previous day and Layton will sleep until about 9 ish if it is quiet BUT not today! I thought my Dr. appointment was at 8:30 BUT it is at 9:30, so here I sit ready and s little time to kill! We are so going to take a nap today!!! Lance has decided that today will be the day that we will go to the fair....I voted Friday but he says it will be too busy! So, we will go stuff our faces with all the fun and yummy fair food and let Caden ride some of the rides. I LOVE to ride the rides but found out this weekend at our nieces "skate party" that I am getting old and am complete out of shape! I just knew that I would be able to skate...kind of like riding a bike, you never forget how...um no! I got out there and fell right away. So I attempted it some more and went in a few little circles with out falling. I really wanted to be able to show people that I COULD do it....after a few more falls on my rear and a good hard fall on my knee I turned in my skates and decided that i was too old to be doing that! I woke up Sunday and even my arms hurt...so for the rides at the fair I think I will sit this one out and act my age! Well, I have rambled log enough I am going to go pick up my mom and go to the Dr.! Nothing like getting you finger poked first thing in the morning! Have a great day...I will post my blood results later...Blessings!

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A whole lot of nothing!

2008-09-15T20:44:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone out there in bloggerville! I hope that all are well! We are doing good here at the Blackwell household! We have been busy doing a whole bunch of nothing! It has been a great break! We did how ever have a really crazy weekend! Lances niece Kylee and Jaxsen have the same birthdays so we did the party thing this weekend! Kylee is 8 and Jaxsen is 4 Happy Birthday to you both!! Lance did not work this weekend which was so nice. I really have been missing him being home with us on the weekends! It is hard to do it all...I don't see how single moms do it! Speaking of motherhood....Congrats to Shannon and Levi...baby Hudson was born at 8:35 p.m. I have no clue how much he weighed but I know he is here and mom and baby are good! It took long enough but they are both well! Back to us, life has calmed down for a little while and we are enjoying having nothing major going on! We are loving the fact the once again God guided us through the stormy times and did not give us more than we can handle! Things are not perfect but they are MUCH better than the last several months! We are praising God for giving us rest and peace! What an amazing God we serve!Well I am off to take a bath and get ready for work tomorrow! I hope you all have a very blessed day!

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Dealing and Doctors!

2008-09-10T21:17:00.003-05:00

OK, I am so stinkin tired!!! I am dealing with too little sleep! Again, last nigh Layton ran a 104.3 degree fever! I took him back to the Dr. and the antibiotics were not working....so we got a shot and switched to a different antibiotic! Are you kidding me I never imagined that an antibiotic would not work! We are going to see the ENT soon! Well, I am going to go get things ready for school in the morning!! I hope you all have a great day tomorrow! Blessings!!

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8 in 7 and x-rays...

2008-09-05T14:29:00.003-05:00

A real quick update...I have to go get Caden! Layton has his 8th ear infection in 7 months! Night before last he woke up at 3 am screaming and was up until I left for the hospital to have x-rays of Cadens stomach don before we headed off to school! It was the most insane thing I have ever been through as far as a kid screaming! It was none stop and I even had Lance get up so I could sleep for 30 minutes! I really thought it was just his teeth since they have still NOT popped thorough but before I left school I checked his temp and it was 104! So we were seen bt another Dr. in the clinic at 3:30 and yes another horrible ear infection! I swear my children and their issues! I have no clue which parent they get it from:)~ We got the results from Cadens x-rays and he is literally full of poop! He has been having horrible stomach pains but no other symptoms so they wanted to check it out and he has poop stuck in the upper part of his tummy and the bottom(where the poop should be) is full of gas! So we started him on a Rx for the gas and some adult strength MiraLax and if we have no results in a week they will redo the x-ray and see what is going on and if we need to do further testing!! I love health issues they make my life so fun :( BUT I am going to run I have to get Caden and I am running behind! I will post pictures of Cadens first day at pre-school later!

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A new year and teeth!

2008-09-02T16:17:00.003-05:00

Let me start off by saying that I should win mother of the year!! I was at the grocery store and Lance called me and asked why I hadn't told him that Layton was getting 4, yes 4 teeth! I was stunned...I had no clue. So, when I got home I looked and sure enough his top 4 front teeth are breaking through!! That explained alot, like why he has been so fussy, wouldn't nurse good and has not been sleeping good! The boy baby as id getting 1 tooth at a time isn't bad enough..we are knocking 4 at a time out of the way! So, now for the new year, school started today!! Caden is officially a pre-schooler :( I cannot believe my baby is so big! He got great teachers and had an amazing day. He does really good with structure. I also started mt 3re year at K.U. and had a CRAZY day! I am with the babies and it takes them a little while to get used to being up there and not at home n their usual schedule! Mine, was the worst!!! He took about a 20 minute nap and did not nurse good at all! I am not sure if it is his teeth or the fact that he was in a new environment. I am hoping and praying that he will get used to it and soon we will have good days. He does not like his Momma holding other babies so we will see. Both of my boys are sleeping right now...AAAAHHHHH the silence! Don;t worry it will not last long..Lance is on his way home! Well, I am off to rest a few minutes before starting dinner ...from one job to another! I will try to get the pictures I took of Caden this morning before we left for school on here later. I did not get any at school of course my batteries died so I will take some of him with his teachers in Thursday! Blessings!!

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I am perfect, saddened and yet all too excited!

2008-08-24T19:15:00.006-05:00

OK...quit laughing and let me explain! I myself, am far from perfect BUT my blood levels are!! YEAH!! I have to go back in 2 weeks just to make sure they are still good and if they are I will finally only have to go once a month!! This will be the first time in a little over a year that I will not be going to one Dr. or another every other week! We are all very excited...maybe the payments we are making will start to reduce the balance we owe! Now, for the sad part Layton will be 7 months old tomorrow :( Where has time gone? I cannot believe that he is getting so big! Don't get me wrong...I love everything he does but I miss the little baby I brought home from the hospital! He has mastered the "army crawl" and is working on the real thing. He is eating all of the first foods and let me say, he LOVES to eat! He has been saying Dada off and on for a month or so BUT FINALLY today said MOMMA!!! I was so happy. We were at my sisters and it was as clear as could be! She is my witness. So that is what I am way excited about....but then again I am reminded that he is growing so fast! Makes me want another one.....ummm maybe not!!! So in honor of him turning 7 months here are a couple pictures of him and one of his VERY cute and honory big brother!( thanks Renay for taking them this last week) I am going to try to get to blogging more again..I have missed it as a way to vent, share and even wind down at night. I start back to work this week..only work days, kiddos start the 2nd!! So here are my boys..enjoy and blessings
I love that big open mouth smile
Do you think his eyes are blue?
He looks so big, and yes that is Cheetos on his face

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Remebering what's important

2008-08-14T21:56:00.003-05:00

I was sitting here this evening having my quiet time and it hit me. Yeah we have been through more junk in the last few months than we would have imagined BUT when I look at the bigger picture it is so little. I was praying and thinking God for the blessing that are going to come from these trials and I realized that I am already seeing them!! Lance and I are communicating better and He has realized that we need to be studying the word more! I have prayed that he would want to do that and that we as a couple would have that and guess what...it is happening. A few weeks ago Lance said that he thought we needed to be back in a small group so we could be feed and grow in our walk, if you know him you know that is not something that he would usually want. Not that he doesn't want to grow but to say we, as a couple and parents need that! PRAISE YOU O' Lord for your mighty works!!! It is not huge things that I all the sudden realized but wow God isn't going to bless us HE IS BLESSING us!! I had a good friend of mine remind me today that I had to give my "storms" to God, and just saying that out loud has opened my eyes and lifted some of my situational depression! I am on fire!! I cannot wait to see how God uses the trials we have had for His glory! As most of you know, I have a pretty rough past and I am amazed at the way he uses that often to speak to others. Sometimes I see immediate results and sometimes I do not, but the seed of hope, love, forgiveness, grace and His unending desire for us to live for him has been planted. It used to really bother me if I talked with some one and they went back to living that life style but God has blessed me with the knowledge that I have helped. Because of that I know he is going to use all of my trials and stormy seasons for his glory. I am not saying tat I enjoy them or want them to happen more often but I am saying that I am going to remind myself of that fact every time I am faced with one! I can look all the way back to my early childhood and see the way He has protected and loved me. He has and never will give up on me! What an amazing feeling.... to know that the creator of the world and all that is in it loves and wants me that much!!

O' Lord I come to you and I praise you. I praise you for who you are . I thank you for loving and NEVER giving up on me. I thank you for blessing my pants off and for my awesome family! Your grace amazes me and I want to please you! God use me for your glory and to further you kingdom here on earth! I love you and I go to bed asking you to speak to and through me. I love you and am filled with your Spirit !! Again, I praise you and thank-you. It is in you Son Jesus name I pray AMEN!!!!

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Insurance companies, Repair shopes, and Attorneys!

2008-08-11T11:17:00.004-05:00

Screaming, crying, feet stomping and still no progress! Well that is what is going on at the Blackwell house today! No, Caden is not throwing a fit, I am!! As, most of you know, we were involved in a car accident that was caused by a drunk driver. Let me just say that this is the biggest mess I have ever had to deal with. It has been a little over 2 weeks and we are still trying to figure out what we are supposed to do! We have gotten an attorney to help and still it feels like I am going to go insane. We met with our attorney last Monday and they ARE helping especially with Lances injuries. I cannot go into detail cause of all the legal junk but, he is being seen by a Dr. Ummm let me think, there is SO much I have to be careful about that I feel like we are on trial or at fault! We did find out that the fastest and easiest thing to do, since there were 4 cars involved and it could take quit a while to get it all worked out, was to make a no fault claim on our insurance! So, our attorney talked to the at fault drivers insurance and they are SUPPOSED to pay our deductibles. BUT I just got off the phone with the repair shop and yet again we are at a stand still! It is unclear if the other insurance company is going to pay them or give us the money to pay them and also we are needing a rental but with us claiming it like we did we would have to have rental coverage and of course as of July 1st we no longer do. I was being real smart and going to save money each month by cutting it out! We are currently driving my moms car but she is going to be needing it back....yelling, crying, feet stomping once again!!! So now I sit here waiting on phone calls from our attorney and the other guys insurance. I should be doing the five hundred loads of laundry but I am so overwhelmed that i do not feel like doing anything! Hopefully after venting I will find the motivation to get my house in some kind of livable order!! I am going to put my youngest back to sleep we are having an issue with his naps! I will update you all if and when I get some answers!! Please pray that I do not end up in the Pavilion before then!! Love and Blessings to you all!

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Wonderland...wonder why...

2008-08-03T23:31:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update with a little carrism added! So, we went to Wonderland AND it was ridiculasly hot and boring!!! BUT I think I figured out why it is called WOnderland....that is exactly what you do wonder...around!!! I guess I missed out on finding great joy in that place since I did not grow up here! This year was espocally fun to walk aroung holding a 20 lb baby and wearing the wolds HOTTEST boot!!! No really we had a good time ! Caden had a blast and Layton was happy in ther stroller most of the time! I love the look on Cadens face while he is on the rides...which still does not include the Frog Hopper! That chid will not ride it to save his life! He is crazy! Well, I am up passed my new bed time and don't really have much to say! O' yeah way to go Randal what a great sermon this morning! I love to see God speak to people (even me) through you! We are in the 2nd week of a really cool sermon series, if you aren't in a church home come visit and seee what I am talking about! Goodnight!

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Nothing.... is great!

2008-08-02T00:06:00.002-05:00

Well, for once in the last few weeks, there is not much to talk about! The last few days have been somewhat normal! We were starting to forget what that meant. Just a few updates, Layton slept 4 hours in his OWN ROOM/BED last night! Until we went to Palestine he was still sleeping in his bassinet in our room but after almost 4 weeks of sleeping with me well I never thought we would make any progress! He is in there right now sleeping and I am loving it!!! He is keeping me SO busy during the day that it is wonderful to get this break at night! Caden is his usual self and also keeps me on my toes. I think he is getting tired of me and I do not blame him...I am pretty boring! Next week he is going to get a break from me Monday-Thursday from 9:00am to 12:15pm...He is going to Veggie Tales camp! I am as excited as he is, a little mommy time YEAH!!! If nothing else I will sleep and maybe even go to the grocery store! What an interesting life I live:)~ Well there is not much else going on EXCEPT...that the insurance company is trying to jack us around...go figure! I am leaving it all in God's hands and know that He is in control! Well I am going to take a bath and go to bed, we have a company party at Wonderland tomorrow! What fun walking around in my beautiful back boot for 5 hours! Blessings!!!!

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It is official......

2008-07-29T21:47:00.004-05:00

Layton is mobile! Today he has been into EVERYTHING!!!!!! It is so cute and I love watching him go BUT I was/am not ready for all the moving! I am so tired tonight and he is still awake. We have had a pretty good. Caden too has been into everything, and he knows better! He also does not like the fact that Layton is after his toys! He has complained all day that "Layton is messing everything up"! Hate to tell ya big brother...you better get ready! He wants all of Cadens toys and none of his own! We are going to make sure all the little toys in his room are up and out of Latons reach. I am sure it will be a matter of days before he finds his way in there! Life with two boys is crazy in a fun way! They are both so different yet so much alike! I will have pictures soon of Layton on the move! Hope you all had a great day,and do again tomorrow! I am going to go get the boys in bed and crash myself! BLESSINGS!

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Just a little venting!!

2008-07-28T21:00:00.002-05:00

First off I want to say that this is NOT for/to everyone and is not meant to hurt any feelings! I just wanted to say that I am sorry that I have had more to gripe and complain about than normal! Our family is in a season of trials and are fully aware of it! We are praying that it will soon pass. But back to the reason for this post.... If you know me and know the person I strive to be you know that I am not one to make up things to grip about simply to have something to talk about, I never struggle with things to talk about I love to talk!:) I would love to have nothing better to talk about than bragging on my kiddos! Layton is doing new things all the time and Caden is always doing or saying something funny.I use my blog and my friends as a way to get stuff off my chest. All of that is to say I am finding out who my true friends are and which ones really know me. I pray this does not offend anyone but if it does maybe you are who I am talking about! Please pray that this season will soon end! I use my blog as a way to vent and share our lives with you all. I am going to try to get back to the fun blogs and posting pictures...it is hard to post pics of chaos!We as a family are praying that we remember 2 things, 1. is that we will be blessed because of our trials and 2. that we are not given more than we can handle! I am sorry for those of you that this is not meant for I have just been told that this is the way a few people feel about me. Sorry also tho the people that feel that way I am a fun, open and honest person! I love you all and I pray this will taken in the right way. I love you all and will post again soon!!! By the was a little more griping....our T.V. broke today!:)~ WE WILL STAND STRONG IN OUR FAITH!!

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This just in....

2008-07-26T23:55:00.002-05:00

Make it stop!!! All the chaos that is around me! I was sound asleep at about 11:00 tonight and got the call that Lance had been hit by a drunk driver! Him and Caden went to the dirt track like they do most Saturdays. BUT this time as hey were leaving a drunk man going about 60-70mph hit a car, that hit another car, that hit Lance! Everyone is alright, the Jeep is drivable as far as I know with damage to the rear end! The man was going to be taken to the hospital for some injuries and then off to jail for him, apparently this is not his first offense! WHAT THE CRAP.....I DO NOT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! Just though I would update you all on life at the Blackwell's while I wait for them to get home so I can check out the boy and the car! I will see most of you in the morning...Goodnight again! Sorry for always seeming to grip right now..I guess if you don't like it then don't read it :)~

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Milestones, Months and Munching

2008-07-26T00:46:00.002-05:00

Happy 1/2 year Birthday to you, Happy 1/2 year Birthday to you, Happy 1/2 year Birthday to Layton, Happy 1/2 year Birthday to you!!! Can you believe it, my baby is 6 months old today:( I cannot believe that that much time has already passed. It seems like just yesterday I was wishing that I would go into labor and see the miracle God was blessing me with! I prayed harder for him and his health than I think have for anything else and God answered those prayers. I know I am partial but not only is he healthy and doing great developmentally he is the CUTEST baby in the entire world! He is 100% a mommas boy and I love that.He is changing so fast. We started foods while we were at my Mom's house and rice didn't go so well! He is doing great with oatmeal and we have now had green beans, peas (they aren't his favorite) and are now on squash! He is doing great with them and loves to eat! He has been rolling all over for a about 6 weeks is now army crawling and getting up on his hands and knees and rocking...it won't be long! We had his 6 month check up on Wednesday and he weighed 18 and 4 ounce and is 26 and 3/4 long, that puts him in the 50th percentile for weight and the 90th for height! He is getting WAY too big. I miss my tiny newborn but am loving everyday with him. Layton loves his big brother and loves it when Daddy gets home from work. He is not saying Momma or Dada but makes a sound that sounds like yeah yeah all the time. His Gigi(my Mom) is calling him baby yeah yeah O' yeah I almost forgot he had his first tooth pop through on Monday! He has not bitten me yet while nursing but I know it is coming! I wish I had some new pics to go with the post but I am still waiting on the ones with him and my Mamma and I have not gotten his 6 months ones done yet, shame on me! Life around here has been crazy but is hopefully going to get back to normal and stay there! I will stop bragging on my precious and sweet now 6month old little Layton and get to bed! He likes the mornings and I am not going to if I do not get to bed! Blessings!!

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Anything Different

2008-07-25T10:51:00.003-05:00

WOW isn't it the cutest!!! Thanks Melissa for all your hard work and time!!! I am so excited...if you haven't noticed what I am talking about look again!!!!

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Coming soon!

2008-07-24T16:59:00.005-05:00

Check my blog in a few days or maybe even sooner and see the surprise! Thanks to Melissa in advance for a job well done! I am promising to get back into blogging daily when all is made new!!! By the way to add to the wonderful last few weeks/months I fractured my foot in 2 places and I am wearing a beautiful black boot!!!!

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Pull up your pants legs....

2008-07-21T14:06:00.004-05:00

It is still raining, I think now it would be considered flooding!!!! On Saturday are A.C quit working again!! We are staying at my sisters and still living out of bags! I have been doing that for almost 6weeks! I am emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted! I have not even finished unpacking from being in East Texas or going through the boys clothes. So along with the unpacked bags in the dining room Cadens clothes are ALL over his room. His dresser broke and we have him a new one but I started to do all of that when the house began to steam!! It is like a sauna in there. Hummmm.....maybe I should have stayed and sweated off some of the weight I am wanting to lose! I am out of free time, seems you have even less at someone else's house. Just pray for me, I am feeling very overwhelmed and down. I love you all, Blessing!

When it rains....

2008-07-15T21:54:00.003-05:00

It pours!!! Well I was finally home and had BIG plans for this weekend! I was going to spend Saturday and Sunday getting my house back in order and CLEAN! I ran my mom around on Friday and when I got home I noticed that it was steaming hot in my house. I checked the thermostat to see what the temp. was sat on and as usual it was on 60BUT it was reading 80! Yup....my air conditioner was OUT!!!! Let me just say that I hate being HOT!! I would rather be cold anytime, any day. So, I called the office and they sent the maintenance man to look at it.... the condenser was out.We would have to wait till Monday! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? See Lance and I have had this discussion before, He says that I should be happy that we ever have air conditioner that people in other parts of the world never do and that it is a luxury to have it! Well, there is a reason that I live in this part of the country cause it is a necessity not a luxury in my book! I know that sounds like a spoiled brat but really who in their right mind likes to be hot...especially at your house that you pay for! So on Monday Lance got them on the ball and by Monday night it was nice and cool in the house! Now, it is complete disaster cause we ran in and out all weekend long and I still have not unpacked from being in East Texas! So.......if you were thinking about dropping by, I will not be answering the door until it is clean! I am hoping that will be soon, it is driving me crazy! A big thanks to the Browns for letting us disrupt there entire weekend by letting us stay with them. Ladies and any one else reading this I am beat and going to bed. Check back tomorrow evening and I will hopefully have a post that is not all about the crap going on in the lives of the Balckwells...Blessings

I am alive!

2008-07-08T23:46:00.003-05:00

Well everyone, I am back! I am not recuperated but I am home! It has been a VERY long and tiring last almost 3 weeks! For any body that didn't already know I was in East Texas. I was planning a trip to visit my Grandma...but got the call to come sooner. She was moved to Hospice on Friday the 13th and we got there that evening, she was in a comatose state. When we first got there she did not wake up but we went to get a bite to eat and when got back she woke up and wanted to hold Layton. It was absolute the sweetest thing I have ever seen! After that she never woke up again and she passed away at 8:00a.m. on Sunday June 15th...what a great Fathers day present for my Dandad he has been waiting for her in Heaven for 7 years! The grief process is just know setting in. I was so busy the weeks I was there that I guess that is why it didn't really hit me! So be praying for me I have had a horrible day! Also, we moved my mom here and she is just not her self. She is going to be having some surgeries and is on pain meds and is just not my mom right now...needless to say I am having a hard time! I will post more later I am losing it again and can't even see what I am typing. I love you all and am hoping to see you all soon!

not too much.....

2008-06-10T17:37:00.003-05:00

Not too much...that is what has been going on with the Blackwell's! We have been enjoying VBS this week, I am exhausted! (VBS is from 9:00am -12:00 pm at our church if anyone is interested. It is going good and the kiddos seem to be having a great time!) I am doing the crafts. This is my second year to do it and I love getting to see all the kids, they are fun! BUT besides VBS all I have done is go to the Dr. this week. Just in case you guys wanted to know, my blood levels are once again LOW!!!! What the heck??? I am still on a large dose of blood thinner and it is again a 1.5. So I go back to the Dr. next Monday on my way out of town! The boys and I are going to Palestine to visit my mom and help start packing my grandmas house, she is moving to an assisted living center in Austin in the next few months. It will be good for her and my mom but it is sad to think that she won't be in the house she has lived in my whole life! So we are going to help and so that I can get pictures of her with Layton. She has not ever seen him in person and I am dying for her to cuddle him! I also want Caden to have memories of going to her house! I know I am a little nuts but it is very important to me! Well I am going to go get dinner ready so I can feed my family! For some reason they get kinda grouchy if I stay on the computer and they don't get to eat!!:)~

Crazy couple days

2008-06-06T23:22:00.003-05:00

Well, things have been a little crazy at the Blackwell house since Wednesday! It all started about 1:30 pm I had not 1 but 2 teeth pulled!A wisdom tooth and a one other. The wisdom tooth was the one I was worried about BUT if you know much about me you know that things are usually weird when it comes to anything medical (which now includes dental). He pulled the wisdom tooth no problem and started on the other one.....I swear he pulled and wiggled it forever! When he finally got it out, after taking a break to rest, he says "no wonder it was hard to get out, it has bowlegged roots" what? I had never heard of such a thing but I could see exactly why they are called that! Ok on to Thursday! I wake up feeling like I am going to vomit and guess what I did, Before long it was coming out both ends.... what a perfect day to get the stomach junk! So I laid around all day and ended up asleep by 7:00pm and slept till 10:00am this morning. Except to feed Layton and get him to sleep which I do not remember! Today was spent recuperating and taking pain meds. After vomiting all day the pain from the one tooth was way worse that yesterday! BUT tonight I am feeling much better and am already able to laugh about the situation! I have rambled on long enough I am going to attempt to go to bed and I will post a more interesting post soon...Blessings!

Layton is 4 months old!

2008-06-03T23:11:00.005-05:00

Well, I am running about 9 days behind on this post and the pictures! We had out photo shoot tonight for his 4 month pictures. Kari did them and as always did a wonderful job! (I need her camera) I wanted to share some of my favorites .I would love to post them all but their are 143 of them and that would make for a VERY long post....Enjoy

Sweet smile

I love that he has found his toes

check out the expression on his face...made me grin

Gotta love all the drool

classic Layton look

silly boy

Reaching for his momma...I love that

He truly melts my heart

Thinking hard

Such a big boy!!!!

Daddy requested this one

As you can see he took some really cute pictures! I cannot believe how time is flying by. Seems like just yesterday he was a tiny newborn and now he is such a big boy!

Sunburn, Leg pains and pictures

2008-06-01T23:27:00.006-05:00

This weekend we had our 2nd and 3 rd soccer games. Caden is loving it and I am loving getting to be a soccer mom! He is doping great and playing his heart out. We got stomped yesterday but won today. I now have a very funny tan line and Caden is just getting darker. Until you take off his shirt, that boy has a major farmers tan going! I think it is too cute! Well, being an athlete is getting to him a little bit. He is having some major leg cramps. I think that some of it has to do with growing pains, cause we all know that Caden is a VERY active little boy. But sunburn, leg pains and all he keeps asking "do I get to play soccer tomorrow?" Yes baby, you do it is called practice! I was looking through the pictures taken this weekend and noticed something they all have in common, take a look for yourselves.....

keep looking.....

have you figured it out yet?

one more...
YES, that would be his tongue hanging out in those pictures.

I have noticed that when he is running and trying to get the ball he sticks his tongue out the entire time (THANKS GRAND).But when he is goalie he........

makes sure all is well in the hiney area then....

get serious and is ready to save a point!

I am so proud of my little man. Caden Momma loves you and couldn't be more proud of you. You are a gift from God and I praise him for giving you to me! I will keep you all updated on the soccer stuff, I hope I do not bore any of you to death...this is a first for me and I am a little to excited about it! Blessings!!!

Soccer mom it is

2008-05-28T23:33:00.004-05:00

I am a true soccer mom these days. I cannot believe Caden is old enough to be playing sports!!! He absolute loves it and is already doing very well. We have had one game and WON (9-3) but who is keeping score! We have are second and third games this weekend and I am hoping to get some more pictures then but I wanted to share these.......

They aren't very close up but like I said I am hoping to get more this weekend BUT this is my absolute favorite so far....

Sad but exciting

2008-05-28T00:05:00.006-05:00

Well I cannot believe it has been this long....Layton is 4 months old. You know like a 1/3 of a year old. I swear just yesterday he was a few weeks old and just loves to cuddle and sleep. He was not considered a little baby but he was little to me. I miss that newborn stage, I know most of you think I am crazy but it is one of my favorite stages! Not that I don't love and cherish them all. I am totally enjoying watching him smile, laugh, roll over, chew on everything and most of all cry for me. It is so sweet to watch him get so excited when I walk over to get him, he loves his mommy! This week has been full of "firsts"! He started rolling over from his back to his tummy on the 20th. Now he rolls over and gets so mad until he remembers he can roll back over, it is just a matter of time before he is rolling all over the place. He also was introduced to the exersaucer today

He thought that was lots of fun! I had to do a little propping but he was so happy! Then I got the bright idea to try cereal tonight. Caden loved it and I figured he would to well...see for yourself

See what I mean, none too impressed! I love my little boy! Now that I have figured out how to post pictures I will be posting pictures of him over the last 4 months! I will also get some of Caden playing soccer up soon! But for now I am going to bed. Blessings!

Schools out ...now what?

2008-05-23T23:20:00.003-05:00

Thursday was our last day of school and I was so excited! I am always ready for a break and so is Caden! We love K.U. but we also love getting to do what we want and not having to get up early. The past 2 summers we have spent a ton of time at Splash, the pool and parks. Now that we have Layton, we will not be spending so much time in the sun. We are going to have to limit the amount of time he is in the heat and sun. That is ok it just makes me a little nervous!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO??? I know that we have friends that we will be hanging out with at their houses and that is going to be a life saver! It is just that not having a yard and a place for Caden to run is already an issue! We had been hoping to be moved into a house by this time but God has different plans for us! So to all of the people that have invited us to hang out this summer....you have been warned! We will be over and you are going to have to make us leave!! Well once again Layton is hungry so I will post more later......be looking for pictures! Blessings!

Caden's prayer

2008-05-19T23:28:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to share Caden's prayer with you all. It has been a huge blessing listening to him pray over the last few months.I love that he is so comfortable being real with God already!

Dear God,
Thank- you for my family, thank-you for my mom and dad and brother and evwebody. Lord, help my family, help my mom my dad and my brother. My brother is sick God help him he has an ear infuction and he keeps crying. Lord, help me to mind my mom cause I don't want to. I want to do what I want and she tells me no. Lord, help all my friends and help me to be nice to them. Help them to be nice to me and help my mom to not yell or spank me! Lord, just help us and evewbody God we need help!
Amen

Isn't that the cutest thing!!! Most kids do a whole lot of thank-yous but not Caden, he does a ton of "helps". I love that he tells God that he doesn't want to mind and I LOVE that he prays for his brothers "ear infuction" AND I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't yell as much as I do, that seems to be an on going prayer request! Hope that "evewbody" enjoyed that.I love the innocents of children's prayers!

A cool reminder

2008-05-19T23:19:00.004-05:00

I was at bible study tonight and got a TON out of it. It seemed to be exactly what I was needing...I love when God does that. One of the things that I needed to hear and be reminded to pray was this

God,
Open my eyes to see you daily,
open my ears to hear you and
help my heart to accept it!

It may not mean much to everybody else but it is HUGE to me I tend to forget to look and listen for God. I love that I was reminded of that after the week I have had!!! I love ya all.......Blessings!

Totally STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-18T23:05:00.002-05:00

Where do I even begin? Lets see, I will start with Layton! The poor child has cried all day!!! He went to the Dr. last Monday and had a horrible ear infection and was tested for Whooping Cough. We still do not have the results but I am thinking that he does not have that. After the day we had I am wondering if his ear(s) are still infected. He has had 3 ear infections in the last 6 weeks and been on 4 different antibiotics. The next step for us is the ENT, I am not a betting person but if I was I would say we will be there soon! So bless his little heart. I know he is in pain or something but I cannot take much more of the crying!!! Now on to Caden! He is a MESS. He is wanting to help me do everything and it only makes it harder and take longer! I love that he wants to help but days like today it would be so nice if he would just GO PLAY! And my wonderful husband......what a mood he was in today:( I have NO clue what his deal was but I pray what ever it was is gone tomorrow. He isn't in a bad mood often but when he is I HATE IT. It doesn't help that I am in a mood myself and would not leave him alone. I just wanted to know what was wrong. I asked that question only God knows how many times today.....the more I asked the less he had to say!OOPS!!! All of those things are minor but on top of the amount of stressful situations I have had to deal with I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT!! I got home from the Walk to Emmaus on Saturday.( Let me just say that I had a wonderful time and have NEVER felt Gods love and forgiveness so strongly in my life. It is amazing to know and feel that.) It was so good to be home and be with my family for Mothers day. We had a good day and enjoyed being with family and friends. The next day is when the stress level went up and has continued to do so every day since! I know that after such a wonderful and intimate weekend with the Lord that Satan is pulling all kinds of crap to bring me back down! I know that is what has happened and I hate it! Some of the situations stink but really should not be stressful on my part, it is other situations that have made them that way! SO PLEASE PRAY THAT SATAN WILL LEAVE ME AND MY FRIENDS/FAMILY ALONE!! I went through my house and prayed over the boys last night and was finally able to sleep. I had this horrible realization that Satan was so present in what I have dealt with this week. I hate that he is able to use certain situations for his good! So I am going to be in constant prayer and know that my God, the God that loves me and will never leave me will be in control and protect me from Satan's attacks!

New design for being reconnected!

2008-05-18T00:10:00.003-05:00

Well everyone..do you like? It is more me! Well just a quick funny story from Mother's Day. Ok so I get home from the Walk and I have a present waiting..I open it and am So surprised! It was 2 boxes, in one was the ring that Lance bought me my first Mother's Day...in the other is the same ring but with Layton's birthstone! I was so excited about the new one but was a little confused about the first ring. So, if you know me, I am a little sarcastic and just kept thanking Lance for the 2 rings. It made him so mad..I finally got up and went into my room and got the ring he gave me 4 years ago out of my jewelry box. He had forgotten that he bought it and bought a new one! We both had a laugh and returned the duplicate and got me a pretty cross necklace. I love my husband and can tell you his taste in jewelry hasn't changed over the last 4 years! Blessings!!!

I am reconnected!!!

2008-05-17T16:34:00.005-05:00

After many frustrating days of NO INTERNET......It is back up and going! I was about to go insane!!!! So it is now officially an addiction. Today is a crazy day so I will make this short, Caden had his first soccer game , it was the cutest thing ever! He scored a goal and ran his little heart out. HE LOVES IT!!!! I am a very proud momma. The game was over at 12:00, we grabbed lunch and I was off to a baby shower, now I am on my was to celebrate my friends little girls birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEELY!!! So I will have a few more posts today, lots has happened in a little over a week! My life is full of fun moments!!

I am off

2008-05-06T23:58:00.003-05:00

Well I am off for the Walk to Emmaus tomorrow! I am very excited and also VERY nervous. I am so glad that I am finally getting to experience it but will be so glad to get there. For good reasons I am sure, what goes on there is something that is not talked about until you have experienced it. They say that it takes away from the weekend. I know that whatever God has in store for me is going to be awesome. Lance went in March and came back a changed man, I am hoping for the same for me (except the man part :~) It is so funny to me how God is really showing me that His timing is perfect and that I just need to except that. Look at Layton... which is the main reason I am SO nervous about going. He is only 3 1/2 months old and nursing. I am leaving him for the first time and it is for 3 days! I know it is so worth it or I would not be going. It is just funny that God is telling me to go now instead of a year ago when I wanted to and didn't have a new baby! As most of you know I struggle with being obedient and this is a huge step for me! That in its self shows that God is working in mighty ways in my life! I really just wanted to let everyone know what I was going to be doing this weekend so you all could be praying. Praying that I get all that He has for me to get out of this weekend, praying that my kiddos will be fine and missing them wont distract me from what I am there to do, praying that my milk supply stays good and Layton goes right back to nursing when I get home and praying that Satan will leave me the heck alone!! He has been attacking me for the last week and I am determined to not let him win and get me down! I will post on my awesome weekend when I return...as much as I can without ruining it for those who have not been. I love all of you and thank you in advance for your prayers! Blessings

Surprise!

2008-05-04T00:48:00.002-05:00

I pulled it off! Lances surprise party that is. I have been planning on doing something for him for a long time, but I almost waited too long! I realized that his last day of plumbing school was Tuesday and decided to get the ball rolling. I got some of my good friends to help me. I reserved the church for tonight and got the decorations, my friend Renay was in charge of the ice cream and setting up the tables, my friend Amanda with the help of her husband pulled off the cake( pictures of it coming soon...it was too funny!)and my friend Kari was in charge of taking pictures! SO A HUGE THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!! O'yeah to Percilla(aka Quientin) thanks for babysitting Lance until time for him to arrive!! It was perfect. He had made the comment earlier in the week, when I asked him if he wanted to go to dinner to celebrate, that if I wanted to celebrate I would have already planned something. Little did he know I already had. So tonight he had to eat his little comment and swallow his pride and apologize! That in its self was great! I am so proud of him and really can't believe that he is DONE!!!! When he started 4 years sounded like forever....time flew by! He has worked very hard to provide for our family and to go to school to do better at it! He is an amazing husband and father to our boys. We are very lucky to have him. So please keep him in your prayers as he will soon be traveling to Austin to take his journey mans test! I know that he is going to do awesome at it but he is a little nervous. He has been running his own truck at work for that past 6 months and is very good at what he does, I guess it is normal to be nervous though! So we will be taking a trip to Austin sometime in the near future. While we are there ewe will visit some family and show off the newest member of the Blackwell family! I will be sure to keep everyone"posted" on all of that fun stuff. Also, be looking for pictures from his party! O' yeah and a big thanks to all of you that came hand helped us celebrate his accomplishment! We love you all! Goodnight...Blessings!

A new thing and other GREAT news

2008-05-02T00:03:00.005-05:00

First I wanted to tell y'all about a Layton first...he cracked up laughing tonight! I know he is getting way too big too fast. He has been trying to get the laugh out for a few weeks now but he just couldn't....until tonight!!! We were all at the Wal-Mart and Lace had taken Caden to the potty(he has to go every where we go) and I was talking to Layton. I noticed he had a booger in his nose, when I reached my hand down to get it he grabbed my fingers. So, being the weirdo mom that I am I shook his hand and said " you have a booger nose". That was all it took he looked at me and made the sweetest little laughing noise. So of course I had to do it over and over. He got to laughing so hard that I was cracking up myself!!! It was sooo sweet. He continued to do it until Lance found me and heard him, then he was done! I tried again later and did not have any luck. Makes me wonder what stupid thing I say to him is going to get him going again! I am so sad that he is growing so fast BUT it is the coolest thing watching him do new things.

Now, are you ready for this???? Are you sitting down???? My blood levels are at a 2.7!!!!!!! The Doctor was very excited and said that is where they needed to stay! I will go back in 19 days and make sure they are still in the good range. As long as they are I will only have to get them checked ONCE A MONTH!!!! I am so excited and know that it is all due to God. I want to give him the glory for leveling me put and giving me the Dr's and the medicine to do so!! HE IS A GREAT AND FAITHFUL GOD! So thanks for all the prayers. Now lets just pray that they will neither drop or go up but that they will stay exactly where they are! Well good night. Blessings!

PICTURES!!!!!

2008-04-29T23:57:00.004-05:00

I am learning how to get pictures on my blog!!(clap,clap) The pictures of Layton were taken tonight by my friend, Kari George! I am still trying to figure out how to get them exactly like I want them....so except some random pictures until I get it all figured out! But i really just wanted to point out that I am learning and for those who have seen the picture of me at 4 months, kinda scary how much he looks like me in this picture! It is CRAZY to me to see how different the boys look but yet sometimes look so much alike. Caden is his daddy remade and Layton ( so far) looks way more like me as a baby than I thought was possible. I love to see the way God mixes two people together and comes out with such different but wonderful results. I know I am a LITTLE partial but I have got some cute boys. I am off to bed but I will entertain you with my attempts to post pictures tomorrow.....enjoy! Blessings.

He looks sooo much like me as a baby!

2008-04-29T23:47:00.001-05:00

House hunting and more!

2008-04-26T00:39:00.004-05:00

Well, we have finally decided to get serious about finding a house! We have been talking about it for awhile now but knew we had to stay here until our lease was up...it is up this month!! May seemed so far off but it is here. We have started seriously house hunting and getting prequalified for a home loan. It is driving me crazy, I am ready to find "our house" and get moved in. I am not a very patient person but I am so scared to get into something and regret it later. I know so little about buying a home and still thought I could do it alone, I have now asked a friend of ours from church (that is a realtor) to help. I am hoping to go look at a modular home tomorrow that I really like from what we have seen. It is 2,016 sq.feet, 3 bedroom/2 baths with an awesome living room and a nice sized kitchen. It is not on as much land as we hope for but it is so nice. It is 2+ the size of the apartment we are currently in. I never noticed how little our apartment was until baby #2!! I t is amazing how much space the little ones stuff takes up. We also turned the playroom into the nursery and Cadens room is now overtaken by toys. So just be praying that if this is not the house for us that it will not work out and we will find the one for us SOON. We will only be able to go month-to-month for a short period of time and I DO NOT want to sign a new lease!!!!!!

Okay, so I truly believe in a mothers intuition. Last night I was thinking about the amount of antibiotics that I was having to give Layton, my three month old that weights 14 lbs, and thought it seemed like TOO much. I decided to call the pharmacy and ask them what the correct dose was for him. I was right I was giving him twice the amount he should have been getting! When I took him to the Dr. on Tuesday his Dr. was out and we saw the one filling in for her. She prescribed him the WRONG dose! I was hot to say the least and I will be calling our Dr. on Monday when she is back to let her know! I love our pediatrician and know that it will upset her to know that it happened. I am hoping that she will never have the other Dr. fill in for her again. I know one thing for sure, I will NEVER take either of my children to see her again. I would rather take them to the ER than let her see them! So to all you mothers,I say trust you gut instinct. God blessed us with the ability to know what is best for our babies, use it!! Well that is enough ranting about stupid doctors and their mistakes....you would think that after all that school they would know what they were doing! Seriously enough, i am going to bed.I will keep you all informed on the house hunting. Blessings!

Thanks Melissa!

2008-04-22T00:58:00.002-05:00

Thanks to Melissa I now have my favorite song on my blog!! Yes, I know I should already be asleep, good night

Another Monday!

2008-04-21T22:47:00.002-05:00

It's Monday, can anyone guess where I went today????? THE DOCTOR! Well my blood is no longer too thick, it is now too thin. Seriously, I am going to go insane! It is supposed to be 2-3 anything higher is not safe and today mine was a 3.9. So I they lowered my dose but kept it higher than it was 2 weeks ago and I go back Monday. I was so hoping that they would say "see ya in a month" but we will try again next week! I am so glad that God is faithful and will keep us safe. I am frustrated right now but know that His plan is way bigger and better than I can imagine! So please keep praying that it will be just right next week. I had are small group pray that it would be thinner, maybe I should have had them pray for it to be right in the middle between 2&3! I love my small group and am SO just kidding! Thanks to all of them that have kept me in their prayers for a long time and will continue to do so, I am so blessed by you guys!
Okay, enough about my medical issues, I have something very exciting to talk about!! We started up a new Monday night Bible study on discerning the voice of God! I am pumped! It is going to be an awesome study, I know I am going to walk away better equipped to hear His voice! One thing that was said tonight and was really something I needed to hear is that it is normal to not know at the exact moment if you heard God or not! I have struggled with that and am learning that a lot of things don't just happen but that God has spoken to me directly or through others for a long time and I was just unaware that it was Him! Something else that I needed to hear was that a personal relationship with God is not one sided! He does not except us to talk to Him and NEVER hear Him speaking to us! I was not raised in a way that talked much about God speaking to us, and for the longest time I thought people were crazy when they said "God spoke to me". Then I went through a period of understanding the God did speak to people just not me. I now know that He speaks to us all we just have to know how and want to hear Him! I am so excited to do a study that helps me get that! I am sure I will keep posting on this study over the next 6 weeks. I know that there is a lot of things for me to soak in through this study!!! One more thing is that I am so very proud of my friend Renay, she is leading this study. She is very7 outgoing and loves to talk but we all know how intimidating it can be to lead a study! I can totally see God using and growing her through this! Well I am once again being called by my youngest so I am off to feed him! I hope everyone has a wonderful week. Blessing!

Praise God!

2008-04-18T23:11:00.004-05:00

Just a real quick update on the last 2 days with Caden, it has been GREAT!!! He had a wonderful day at school on Thursday and was so proud of himself. My sister, Kristi, picked him up from school for me and did a wonderful job of praising him for his good day. If you don't already know this, Caden is obsessed with Tony Hawk. So, when they got to Kristi's house he was allowed to play. He was up late on Thursday and playing with a friend and was on much better behavior than he has been in the last several weeks! Then today, I ran errands ans enjoyed a kid free lunch with some of my good friends and he played at Kristi. Some times him and Jaxsen aren't the best together but today they did great! AND Kristi kept Layton and tried the bottle with him..... he did awesome. He drank the bottle and was happy. I am feeling so blessed. So to all of you that have been praying for our family, THANK-YOU!!!! I have really seen some answered prayers in the last two days!! Well I am going to go take a bath and go to bed I have to be up at 5:15 in the morning. We are having a women's retreat and since i joined the women's committee I need to be there in time to help get everything ready! I will post tomorrow, pray for my friend Renays husband he is keeping Caden and his 4 kids tomorrow!! Blessings!

my little healper!

2008-04-16T21:53:00.004-05:00

WOW, it has been another exciting day at the Blackwell house. My sweet precious Caden has decided to be my "helper". First thing this morning I hear him in the kitchen, so I get up and smell the weirdest chemical smell ever. It smelt like cinnamon apple lemony Windex!! That is exactly what it was. After seeing me clean the floors last night right before he went to bed he thought it would be a big help to redo them!! He used Windex, said it didn't smell good so he tried lemon pledge, and didn't like the way it smelt either. So he decided that it would be much better to add cinnamon apple air freshener to the mix.Lets just say NASTY!! I hope to never have to smell that again. He was so proud of himself for getting a big bath towel to clean it all up with, I doubt if the smell ever comes out! After we talked about how little boys aer not supposed to touch chemicals and that they can hurt him and make him sick, he decided that if he couldn't help me clean that he would make a huge mess! I swear the kid acted like he had never heard that he wasn't supposed to mess with the cleaning supplies. So after getting in trouble for SEVERAL other things I made him take a nap. He must have been tired because he slept for 3 hours, and yes so did I! We got up and I attempted to clean up from this morning! So we are off to church and all was well, until we got home. I was getting a few of Laytons newborn outfits together for a friend of mine how is due any day and doesn't know if she is having a boy or a girl, when I hear a loud scream from Layton and Caden runs in his room and informs me that he just started crying! As I was walking into the living room, he tells me that he just wanted his brother to be dressed like him. O'yeah I forgot to mention that Caden was just out of the shower and naked.I walk in the living room to find Layton half way out of the bouncy seat, pants off and onesie stuck on his head and extremely mad! caden was just helping me, right! Well no he is asleep and that seems to be the most "help" he has been all day! I am loving being the mother to two wonderful boys and each new day has a new adventure. Please be praying for Caden, he has school tomorrow and I desperately want him to have a great day! I am off to take a bath and go to bed. I will let y'all know how tomorrow goes! Blessings.

What a day

2008-04-15T21:44:00.002-05:00

O my where do I begin?? Well I guess I will star with this morning, meaning like 1:30 am!! I could not sleep,which is the story of my life lately!! So , I got up and picked out all of our clothes and mad sure everything was ready for today. I also spent some time in prayer over Caden and what I need to do to help his behavior improve, at school and at home. So about 2:45 am I finally fell asleep only to wake up 45 min. later to feed Layton. I went back to sleep rather quickly only to be woken up by the loud and annoying buzz of the alarm at 6;39 am!! I was tired and didn't want to get up. So, I get up and am off to a slow start but am making it right on time. I finally get us all three dressed and ready and was about to load Layton into his car seat when I noticed yellow poop ALL over his clothes and bouncy seat,AAAAAHHHHH can I ever be on time anymore? Obviously not! Ok so I get him cleaned up and redressed and we are out the door 10 minutes later that I wanted to be, I hate not being on time. On the way to school I talked with Caden about being nice to his friends and being respectful to his teachers and reminded him what would happen if he wasn't. I thought I did a good job getting through to him but as you will see about 6 hours later I realized once again I sucked at that! Once we where at school I thought the day would only get better, wrong! All of the kids with a few exceptions were unusually cranky and did lots of crying!! Ok no problem I only have to be there for 6 hours and I will be able to come home and relax because I am sure Caden had a great day!! No, wrong answer! Caden apparently decided that he needed a treat out of the treat box in his class room and helped himself, which wouldn't be so bad if he had been good. But, once again he could not keep his hands to himself and had a problem being nice to his friends!! So I explain to him that he has lost the privilege of watching movies and looking at 4wheel drive videos on the Internet with dad. He wasn't at all surprised and was only a little upset. Since that didn't seem to bother him he also had to clean his room and go to bed early, still not much of a reaction! We talked about it and he said that he wasn't a good boy today at school and that's why he had to do those things. What the heck, he should have been so upset. I say all that to get to this point, if you have any suggestions of how to handle this problem I am open to hear them. Just so you all know I am a believer in spanking but it doesn't seem to faze him (except to make him mad) I also believe in time out , not much response there either! I am complete at a loss over this. I love him VERY much and only want the best for him. He is a GREAT little bot but we are going through something big since the birth of his little brother. I know that this is something that he is going through and it will pass but he has to know that it is not okay to act this way and for my sanity it HAS to stop!! I really feel like it is Satan's way of attacking our family right now and it makes me so mad that he is using my little boy. NUT it is working. Tonight Lance and I got into a fight (nothing major) because we are both so frustrated and tired!1 I t seems like all we do is get on to him and rarely have good fun family time right now, and believe me it is not due to lack of trying! So, please keep us in your prayers and if you have any ideas let me know! I will not be offended and if I don't like them or agree with them I will not use them:)~ Well, all the boys are asleep so I am going to try to take a bath and go to bed myself, I am exhausted. Blessings to you all!

2008-04-15T20:33:00.000-05:00

My two oldest boys! Lance and Caden

2008-04-15T20:31:00.001-05:00

Lance and Layton on Easter

Frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-14T16:35:00.002-05:00

Ok so today is the day that I go to the Dr. and they tell me my blood levels are finally good, right? WRONG!!!! I go today after them increasing my dose (by a lot they said) and they prick my finger. The guy squeezed and squeezed finally getting enough to test and we wait....and wait.... then the number pops up 1.5! Last Monday it was a 1.6, how does my blood get thicker when they increased my dose of blood THINNER??? Even the Dr. seemed confused and they went up on my dose by 3.45mg daily! That doesn't seem like much, until you think that a lot of people take less than 5mg a day and I am on 11.25mg! I really should be used to my body doing weird things but I am just so ready to be on a therapeutic level and be done with weekly Dr. appointments and dose increases! So, please pray that God will work in mighty ways over the next 7days and that next Monday my levels will be exactly where they need to be! I know He can do it and that He will!! I am very thankful that He has placed Dr. in my life to take care of me until then!! Well I am off to cook dinner and get ready for school tomorrow! I hope to have a more interesting blog post soon!! Blessing

Are you wondering?????

2008-04-12T14:01:00.003-05:00

Well everyone, I GOT IN!!!! I will be attending Walk 203 May 10th -14th!!! I am a little nervous about leaving Layton but know that God is in control. He would have not opened the door and made it possible if it were not the right time!! I am claiming that and know that I will be perfectly fine with leaving my baby when the time comes. I ask that you all pray that it will be an awesome weekend for me. Also, pray that my boys will be great with out me, and that Layton will be good with the bottle BUT want to pick right back up nursing when I get home. I am not ready to give that up. I have prayed about it and will continue to do so until then. God is good and knows what is best for our family, He also understands by desire to nurse my baby!!! I am going to love on Layton and will post again soon!! Blessings!

Can't sleep!!

2008-04-11T23:50:00.002-05:00

As I sit here unable to sleep, because my husband is not here, I realize just how blessed our family has been lately! If you have known us long (or have talked to me, I am kinda an open book) you know that Lance and I have NOT always been where we are today! Especially when it comes to where we are spiritually but also just with life in general. We started out as two very broken people trying to get it together and now (nobody laugh) we seem to at least be on the right track! We have been working on it our entire marriage and were making some progress but were kinda at a stand still until this past month! We had rid ourselves of most of the things that kept us from growing closer to each other and the Lord and were doing ok! But, our family was revived when Lance attended to Walk to Emmaus in March! I saw the biggest most positive change in him ever .He is now truly the spiritual leader of our family. It is wonderful to have him willing be more involved with church and friends from church! Some of you are thinking Lance has been involved for a while. Yes, he has but not always with the eagerness and willingness that he does now! It is amazing to me how much different thins have been since he returned. Now, I say all of that to get to this point, I have received an invitation to attend The Walk in May!! I am a little nervous because I am not one to leave my babies, esp. if they are nursing. As you are all aware Layton will only be 3 1/2 months old and will most definitely still be nursing! When I filled out the application I prayed that if this was not good timing that I would not be accepted! Then a couple days ago I received "the letter" informing me that I was invited BUT had to be one of the first 36 women to confirm after 8:00am on the 12th, which is tomorrow! I am hoping to get to go and know that if for whatever reason I don't get to it is all part of Gods timing!! So, I will be calling bright and early and will let you all know what comes of it. I can only imagine how it will impact our family for me to get to go. After seeing what it did for Lance I know it is something I have been needing!Guess what, one of the kids is awake so I am going to tend to him! I will post the results of the call in the morning until then, blessing to you all!

Playin' the Tag Game

2008-04-10T21:52:00.003-05:00

My sweet friend Melissa H. tagged me, so now it's my turn to give you some very strange but fun facts about me! Here are the rules:
1. Link your tagger. Post the rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself (random and weird).
3. Tag 7 friends.
4. Leave a comment letting them know they've been "tagged."

SO LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!!!!
1. I have only had the Internet for a little over two weeks! I have been saying that I wanted to get a computer and be online for about 4 years. We have been totally living in the stone age. I am now addicted to blogging and reading blogs, who knew it could be so much fun?

2.I have a very unnatural fear of birds!!! No, not one specific type but all birds, I don't even like to take my son to feed the ducks. They totally creep me out. I mean have you ever looked at a bird up close? Their beaks are scary and their eyes are insane looking. Plus I have always said that if something/someone is not smart enough to sit when they poop I have no use for them!! It is quit a sight if I am outside and a huge flock of birds fly over, I either freeze of get under cover!!! So ,next time you get the chance look at a bird and see if you find them at all creepy!!

3. I am a comfort bath taker! I love taking a HOT bath if I am upset or stressed. Also when I am sick I stay in the tub more than out! When I was younger and would not feel good I would only get out long enough to let the water get hot again. Not such an easy thing to do now that I am the mother of two wonderful boys.

4. The only kind of dog I have ever owned for more than a couple days is a Cocker Spaniel!! I love the tan ones and plan to get another little girl puppy as soon as we get a house with a yard! That is what I got for my 16th birthday. Her name is Cassie and she now lives with her GiGi in Palestine!

5. I moved to Amarillo to go to college. Surprise I didn't finish! I went to A.C. for 4 semester and had a different major or was undecided each one. I still have no clue what I want to do when my boys are in school, so I am still waiting to go back!!!

6. I used to FREAK out if people would see my feet. I hated people to look at my toes and rarely wore flip flops or any other open toed shoes! If you don't know me I know have a big butterfly tattoo on my right foot and almost always wear flip flops!

7. Every night I lie in bed and run through "what if scenarios". Like what if the house caught on fire, how would I get us all out. What if someone broke in where would we hide and how would I get Caden. What if a tornado came hoe would I get the mattress into the bathroom!! I know it probably is a sign of a serious problem but I don't freak out about those things. I just want to make sure I am ready for anything!! Please don't think I am crazy!! ( I might be just a little )

So there is a little insight to the "Real Me"!! I hope you all enjoyed it! I am now tagging Kari G., Kassie, Kristi H. and GenaG.. I hope you all have fun and I am waiting to see what you will come up with about yourselves!!! Enjoy!

A new member of the blog squad

2008-04-09T16:01:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone we have a new blog to read! My sister Kristi, who always wanted to be like me, has joined in on the fun! Her blog is pelicankris.blogspot.com, so go check it out!! I am sure it will be a great read! I have to go cook dinner, blog more later!!

Great friends!

2008-04-08T23:18:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone I am just sitting here and wanted to let everyone know that I am grateful for their friendship! God has really blessed our family with some GREAT friends lately and it is amazing! I am really seeing Him do great things in our lives and marriage! Our church is growing and is on fire , what an awesome thing to get to witness. I also wanted to let everyone know that we are starting a new bible study the 21st. of April and it is going to be wonderful!! I hope that you all will come and join us in the fun and time of growth! Also keep the men of our church in your prayers (and us wives that will be dealing with the children on our own!) as they go on a LONG over due Men's Retreat! I am praying that God will use this time to bring them closer to Him and each other! As a wife it is awesome to see my husband get involved and develop great friendships with other Godly men. That is all I have for now, post again soon!! Blessings to you all.

Another Dr. visit update

2008-04-07T16:12:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone I just got home from the Dr. and the results are the same, go figure!! Last week my INR(clotting time) was at a 1.6 which id low because to be considered therapeutic it has to be between a 2and a 3. So they upped my Coumadin dose quit a bit hoping that today it would be good BUT it was exactly the same, still a 1.6! The Pharm. D that I am seeing said she was quite surprised BUT leave it to me to be a mystery! So they have made another large ( by blood thinning standards) adjustment and I will go back next Monday!!! I am praying that it will be therapeutic and we will be good! I love seeing Kathy Baker on Mondays but am sure I could find an easier and less expensive way to do so :) They also said that some of my fatigue could be from the steady increase of the dose and if it is and is not Lupus related it Will go away once we are no longer having to increase. So please be praying tat my levels will be good by Monday and we will no longer be playing with the dose! Love and blessings to you all.

What a wonderful day!

2008-04-05T23:49:00.002-05:00

AHHHH what a day! I did absolutly nothing! I was supposed to clean house but I didn't, I needed to go to the grocery store but I didn't I have a ton of laundry that I planned on doingBUT guess what I didn't!!!!!Lance and Caden left this mornng to go put new brakes on the jeep so me and Layton played a little while then took a 2 1/2 hour nap, it was great! Then the two boys came home and went outsid eand worked on the blue car for the rest of the day! I DID pick up my house and do acouple loads of laundry but mostly I spent the day with my baby! Please do not get me rong I love Caden and enjoy being with him and have a blast with him. It was just nice to have that on on one time with Layton. He is growing SO fast and I hate it! I love watching himsmile and hearing him make his little noises but I know that before long this stage will be gone just like the last. With Caden I loved everystage but I encouraged the next, this time I never want it to end! I guess most of these feelings are normal but I find myself feeeling guilty about the way I love little Layton. I chalk it up to being in a totally different place in life than I was when CAden was born! Cadens birth was the middle of some very stressful times and he was not planned.Loved and wanted yes, but planned NO! Please don't think that I am crazy or that I love one of my boys more!!!!! They both mean the world to me a represent very different needs and prayers surrounding the times they were born. I am not going to go into great detail about my past since most of you already know BUt I will say this, Caden saved my life and brought my very broken family together again. If God had not placed Caden in my life at the exacttime that He did, I probably would not be here and most importantly I would probably not have become the Christian woman, wife and mother that I am!! Layton came at a time when i was growing so weary and was doubting that I had received forgiveness from God. I prayed for another child for 2 years ans was really getting discouraged! I DID NOT give up on God but did feel as though I was getting what I deserved for the sins I committed in the past! But God knew that there were some medical conditions that needed to be found before I carried another child to term. He also knew and reaffirmed to me that His timing is PERFECT! I will never doubt that again. I am reminded of that every time I look at my little Layton! I know there will be those times when I feel like "I know best" and that God needs to get on the ball (I am human) but I will always remember that had HE not been in control of my life EVEN when I was not wanting Him to be I would still be that lost , hurt little girl throwing her life away!! I praise you God! Than- you for loving me!!! Blessings to you all!

It is our Anniversary!!!!

2008-04-03T15:25:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone it is our 4 year anniversary! That may not sound like long to some of you but you have to know where we came from to appreciate it like we do! Well lets see four years ago today was INSANE!!!!!! I had a new born who wanted to eat every two hours and was trying to get ready for my wedding. Our wedding was at noon and was supposed to be outside the court house in the cute little Gazebo, BUT leave it to the panhandle weather to be freezing cold and having snow flurries, so we moved it inside. We ended up getting married in a TINY courtroom that was way over heated! I was dying of a heat stoke the entire time. Right before the wedding was to stat the Justice of the Peace asked who was going to stand up with us, I chose my Mom and Lance chose his brother-in-law, Danny. He also wanted us to have a song so my sisters sang "The Rose". We had not even thought about any of that until he mentioned it like 5 minutes before we got married, can you say last minute? That wasn't the worst by the time everyone got there and we finally got started it was time for Caden to eat. We held him off and because I could hear him crying outside the room, I had mike running down the front of my dress, maybe a little TMI for some but it is one of my most vivid memories! I have to say that we had a wonderful reception at the bed and breakfast that I stayed in two nights prior to the wedding. My sisters prepared the food, we had a pretty cake and a blast with all of our friends and family. Then we left the three of us (FYI your supposed to have a baby after your married, for many reasons!LOL) ans went to our house for the first time as a family! All in all it was a wonderful day and one that I will never forget. O' and the night of our wedding was quit interesting, no not like you think!! We had his cousins spend the night with their little girl, isn't that how it is supposed to be!!!! But hey when you have a newborn what did you except to happen??????? I am going to leave you with that thought and a smile on your face! I will blog later about what we do tonight, not that way :) Blessings to you all!

A trip back in time part3

2008-04-03T00:11:00.002-05:00

Ok so it was the day before the wedding and Lance went ahead and went to work. I had a ton of stuff to get done and was very overwhelmed with all the last minute stuff. Like a cake topper, my nails done and I had to do something to my hair that had not been cut or colored in a VERY long time!! Also the house that I was supposed to start living in the next day was a disaster. Lance swears to this day that he spent a long time cleaning the prior week but I still say he didn't. Along with all the dust and dirt was all the stuff we unloaded the night before including the crib(still in the box) and our bedroom set also still in the box! But still first thing is first, so me and my Mom started running errands about 10am that morning. Lances mom made me a hair appointment with her mother-in-law, which turned out to be disaster! She bleached my hair so long the the parts that she highlighted were complete fried and when I ran my fingers through it I had a handful of hair!!!! It was not just the first time but happened every time I brushed it or even touched it for several hours, thank God I have thick hair! The hair ended up looking fine and we finished up all errands about the time Lance was getting off of work . We meet back at the apartment and when I walked in I was amazed! My Dad and step-mom spent the entire day cleaning and putting stuff into place, it looked like a home! They even went as far as to stock the pantry (with help from my mom). I was so relieved to know that I would start off our marriage in a very clean well organized home! We all went to dinner that night and Caden, my Mom and I went back to the bed and breakfast where we all stayed and Lance stayed at the apartment alone for the LAST night! I have to add that he slept on the couch because my parents made it very clear that our new bed was for the two of us and was not to be slept in until the next night!
Today four years later it is all too often that Lance falls asleep in Cadens bed and Laytons ends up in ours before the night is over! It is a wonderful life and I am loving everyday of it! Some are crazier than others but each day is a day that I cherish!! I am going to bed I will write the 4th and final part of the "trip back in time" tomorrow until then...Blessings to you all!!

WELL

2008-04-03T00:01:00.002-05:00

Ok so I have picture, but they were supposed to be in a slide show!!! I am making some progress but slowly! The first pic is Layton I just love, 2nd is Caden trying to convince me that he needs a real dirt bike, 3rd is a "little" baby bump and the last one was taken the first time I held Layton. There should have been like 4 more but I am not too sure what happened!!

2008-04-02T23:59:00.000-05:00

A trip back in time, part 2

2008-04-01T23:26:00.002-05:00

So this date 4 years ago was truly a trip! We started early that morning by finishing loading up all of the stuff we needed the night brfore or that morning and we headed out! The Uhaul, my Dad's car and my little blue Escort were on our way from Houston to Lubbock! I was very excited and a little nervous we were traveling with a 6 1/2 week old baby. I had no idea what to expect and to top it all of he was taking breathing treatments every 2 HOURS!!! It was a long trip but a good one!It was the first time in about 5 months that Lance and I were alone and in person, we had a blast sitting in the car and talking!We made a ton of stops but finally made it to Lubbock. I will never forget the feeling I had as we pulled up to the apartment that Lance had gotten for us, lets just say it was definatly not a "looker" from the outside. As we went in I felt a little better it was big and had a lot of potential. AND it was going to be our first home as a family and that made it perfect! It was a 2 bedroom 1 bath and had a wonderful view, the dumpster in the alley!!! If I had not been so happy to finally have our family together I might had freaked out but that wasn't all that important at that time! I was just so proud that Lance had a good job and had found a place that we could afford. I love that man!!!! We did the unloading and off we went to the bed and breakfast that Caden and I stayed at until the day of the wedding. This was also the first time we went to dinner alone, as a family. That its self was a big deal for us when you think about where we were 5 months prior. Lance dropped us off that night and made me promise to be there the next day, All of that seeems like a life time ago!
Fast forward 4 years and you have another long day! Like I posted earlier today was our first double Dr. appointment and I pray that we don't have anymore anytime soon. Caden isn't a big fan of the Dr. so he is always a joy to take and Layton was not going to help matters, he wanted to be held and not let go!! But for anyone that was worried that I dont feed my boys, Caden is weighing almost 49 lbs and Layton weighed 13lbs and 4 oz. What can I say I have big boys!! Well it was after 11pm when Caden got into bed, thanks to the wonderful steroid and it is now almost midnight so I am going to get some sleep before my little one wakes up to eat! Hope I am not boring the pants off you with my little trip down memory lane! Blessing to you all

Off to the Dr. we went!

2008-04-01T18:12:00.002-05:00

Well we managed to make it through our first ever double Dr. appointment! I will say not my favorite thing to do. But we should all thre be on the road to recovery now! First lets start with Caden, as most of you kjow he has asthma and allergies so for the last week I chalked up the runny nose and cough to that but for the first time ever I was wrong :) hahah. He has a sinus infection that is settling into his chest and is wheezing! So he was given an antibotic, a better cough medicine to help us sleep through the night, and instead of a shot for the first time EVER I let him choose to take an oral steroid! I usually make him take the shot and get it over with but didn't feel like carring him out of the Dr. office today and promised him that if he didn't take it like a big boy I would bring him back for the shot! Now Layton. He woke up this morning with a matted shut eye and not at all too pleased with it. He has been kinda fussy but then again we have been on the go all weekend long! He was given eye drops for an infection in his left eye she said that if it was pink eye we cought it really early and if it wasn't it was just an infection caused by the blowing dirt. Blowing dirt in Amarillo, no way!!! But these eye drops should clear it up! And me she wrote me a Rx for an antibotic to finish clearing up what she said looked like an inner infection and an infection in my glands!! BUT we are all going to be ok and Walgreens is loving me and my boys right about now!! Look for part two of my anniversary tribute later when everyone is in bed!!!!!!!!

2008-04-01T11:27:00.001-05:00

Happy birthday to my sister Tami and a late Happy birthday to ny niece Kenzie!! I love you both and will see you soon

A trip back in time!

2008-03-31T23:16:00.000-05:00

Well, I was sitting here hinking about the fact that mine and Lances anniversary is Thursday and got to thinking about this day 4 years ago. A littl ehistory to make it all make sense. Me and Lance were together 2 years to the day when we got pregnant with CAden, and due some poor decisions were not in a good place at all. When I was 5months pregnant I moved from AMarillo to Houston to live with my Dada and get my life ready to be a mommy! Lance staye din Amarillo until December of 03 when he decided (witha little help from me) that in order to get himself ready to be a daddy to our little boy he too would have to move and he moved to Lubbock!
Ok with that being said lets move forward to mid March 2004, after me recieving some needed counsleing and Lance getting his life together we decided that we were ready to be together and be amrried. So we planned our wedding to be on April3, 2004 about two weeks away! After many stess filled days and lots of crazyness it was all planned! Lance was to fly into Houston on MArch 31 to help load me, Caden and all are stuff up for the trip from Houston to Lubbock! So 4 years ago today we were getting our marriagr license and loading a Uhaul with way too much stuff! I had no clue what our apartment looked like what the place we were getting married(the court house) looked like or anything els, except that we were going to be a family! I would like to say it was due to my complete faith in God that made it so easy BUT at that time I was lacking faith along with alot els! I kno wnow that it was all apart of His plan for our family and praise Him for being all knowing!
Now, a quick flash back to the present! Today 3-31-08 was just a normal Monday in the Blackwell household. Me and the boys(Caden and Layton) did a whole lot of nothing, We actually stayed in our P.J.'s most of the day. Caden played with his toys, found stuff to get into and did what most 4 year old boys do when they are at home, complained about being bored! He wasn't feeling great so he took a long nap along with me and his brother! He has a horrible cough and as of late tonight a low grade fever! We will see how the night goes and may be going to the Dr. tomorrow! As for Layton, 2months, he had a very normal day. Eat, sleep, smile at mommy, pee, poop and want to be held! HE is amazing and is growing too fast! He is already becoming a mommas boy and crying for me! I love it, even though it is not always convient and sometimes hurts Daddy's feelings. I myself did not get done near what I needed to between Caden and his needs and Layton and his I slacked off on my to-do-lists! I did get some laundry done and get to the grocery store(how exciting) and of course I found time to indluge in my new hobby the computer! Melissa and everyone els responsible you created a monster! Well I have rambled long enough stayed tuned for the next 3 days as I take a tripo back in time in honor of our 4th wedding anniversary! Blessings to you all!

Gotta love me!

2008-03-30T23:33:00.000-05:00

If anyone is wondering about my AWESOME slideshow to the left of this post, yes I took those pictures! No, not really I was trying to get some of the pictures of my boys into the slideshow and when I clicked blog this that is what was there. I know you are all jealous of my computer skills BUT envy is not of God:)~. Really I am going to try this week to get some pictures on my blog so stay tuned this could be very amusing!

God is so good!

2008-03-30T23:12:00.000-05:00

It is the start of another week and I am feeling so pumped! Randal started a new series today and I feel it is just what I needed!! Those of you that know my story probably understand more than others but I think everyone can relate. He is talking about TRULY getting rid and over all of our guilt and junk from our pasts. I really thought I had done a great job at getting over most of all of that from my past but now know that I am the BEST at pusing it out of my mind and planning to deal with it later. In return Satan has been using all the pain, hurt and guilt from as early as my childhood (like preschool) to bring me down at times I am growing the most spritualy. I have known for some time that somthing wasn't right with the way I feel about certain situations and the way I deal with them but honestly didn't know exactly what it was until today! Randal is an awesome Pastor and I was walk away from Sunday morning feeling blessed but today was amazing! I have a ton of junk I need to work through, don't get me wrong, but just being reassured that I am not the only one and I have people to help me to do that makes it all seem possible!! Iam always blown away by how God knows what we need when we need and how to get it accross to us. HE IS SO GOOD! Just one more way that HE shows us His neverfailing love and perfect timing! I hope everyone has a wonderful week and lets God work in their lives as I AM GOING TO DO!!! (with the help of some very amazing friends and mentors, if that is you I am sorry in advance for taking up so much of your time BUT thank you for loving me enough to help me through this live changing and very freeing time I am about to got through:)!!!)Blessings to you all!!!!!!

Another Dr. visit!

2008-03-28T16:56:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone I just got home from the Internal Medicine Dr. And I figured I would update you guys! Well, we went up on my blood thinner again my levels need to be between a 2and 3 and are currently at a 1.6. They are climbing but aren't quit there yet! I will go back in a weeek to have them checked again, please pray that they are where they need to be. They also are referring me to a Dr. that will be able to monitor my Lupus and recheck to make sure that is what I have since there are some blood test that suggest that it could be somthing els. BUT on a positive note in the last ( weeks I have lost 30lbs. I still have a long way to go but am glad to see progress. I have 25lbs to lose from this pregnancy but since I was heavier that I need and like to be when I got pregnant I am looking to lose aboue 70lbs. total! It is going to take some work but I am going to put my all into it. So there is another prayer request, that I will not give up and will be able to lose the wait in a healthy and safe way!

2008-03-27T18:21:00.000-05:00

Proud big brother!!

2008-03-27T00:27:00.000-05:00

Well, everyone I am starting a new adventure! I have entered the world of Internet, email and blogging in one night. It is three months into 2008,wow where has time gone? This year has been amazingand crazy at the same time. We have added a new member to the Blackwell family, LAYTON KANE born on 1-25 weighing in at 8lbs. 2oz and 20 1/4 inches long! He has been an awesome blessing and I am madly in love with my baby boy! After praying for a healthy baby for 3 years holding him and looking into those bie blue(yes, I said BLUE) eyes I know have a living testimony that Gods timing is perfect!!! This time last year I was wondering if God was ever going to give me the second child I longed for or if one day I would wake up and no longer have that desire. I knew deep down that one of the two would happen but was starting to doubt that He cared,how stupid of me! Not only was that prayer answered but also my prayer for Lance to grow in his faith. 2 weeeks ago Lance went on the walk and came home a different(BETTER) father and husband. God has truly blessed our 2008 so far! If you asked Caden ,4 about the last few months he might respond differently. Don't get me wrong he loves his little brother but is having some jealously issues! Please keep him in your prayers! Well, I have gotten carried away with the first night of the internet and will be kicking myself in the morning so I better go to bed. Iwill try to make my next posting more organized, detailed and also add some pics of ay amazinf family! God Bless you all!!